Does this mean I don't have this disease

When I was younger I pretended not to have insight because I believed that I wouldn’t be taken seriously. They used this as a marker that I had a problem since I read my medical records. I read about prodromal symptoms online and I believed I had these. This is before being diagnosed and I knew what symptoms they would be looking for. I then used a lot of stimulants and it seems my problems got worse. I felt guilty over just acting crazy in the past when I was considered manic. Now my symptoms are worse and I met a man who I thought I was a spy with. I don’t know if I really am or not now. My friend said I did this for attention. I feel like this is held against me now by people who I think want to ruin my life in the future.

Just fix the issue, get some good treatment. Stop playing around with delusions, they amount to nothing but personal misery in this world.

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Can some some more people respond, I’m worried about this.

We told you to see a psychiatrist and you don’t want to…

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No I have a psychiatrist. I’m just worried that I don’t have this problem because of my past actions as described above.

When is your next apt? Tell him what you told us.

Past actions can still be indicative of the disease. I led a mostly normal life and could function with delusions. My mood swings were bad and I only heard “normal” typenoises- bells, car doors, mumbling. Things that could be explained away.

I still function high enough that on my best days I doubt sza, but I trust my pdoc

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When i was a teenager i told someone i had schizophrenia when i didnt have any symptoms. Sometimes i fear that means i dont have it too but thats the past and not the present.

I think you do. You’re delusions are bizarre.

I think most therapists, psychiatrists aren’t worth their salary in my case. I benefited from therapy, don’t get me wrong, but I was also harmed.

It’s like a rape victim getting constantly told it never happened or it was their fault. It hurts and does more harm than good in my case.

I’m pretty confident I got bipolar type 2 now.

I’m learning to think for myself and I’m getting of my AP because it doesn’t do ■■■■ for me. None of them do.
I’ve tried all of them practically and almost died on Clozaril. Even shat and pissed my pants! And for what!

I’ve never hallucinated in my life. My symptoms started in 1 day 9 years ago and have improved considerably. My DP/DR was worse than my alleged schizophrenia. And DP/DR is different than psychosis.

I would say I have had delusions because I wasn’t properly treated. I am now on a mood stabilizer and feel good. A bipolar drinking 8 energy drinks a day is insane, which I was doing every day for the past 9 years. I’m reducing or quitting them. I’m already cutting back.

I’ve had philosophical delusions mainly but they go over my doctors head. I would have to talk to somebody like Elon Musk for somebody to understand me. It sounds egotistical but it’s true.

I got negative symptoms, no motivation, and obesity from the meds. I don’t care if you agree with me or not.

I have bipolar genetics, a family history of bipolar, and no schizophrenics. My current doctor was pushing the bipolar diagnosis until I told him what happened to me in college. He flat out told me it wasn’t real. I even tried to convince him I’m worse off than that and had paranoid schizophrenia. We agreed to say I have schizo-affective disorder.

He thinks I can do something in life. I’m not sure if all those supplements did something to me, but it helped I think.

Remember, I almost died from APs. I’m not a fan anymore. It just makes me want to do nothing with my life and I’m like a vegetable.

Don’t get me wrong, some people really need medication. Most people on this site need them.

Without meds, I’ll be just fine. I won’t go to jail, die, or be homeless. If I relapse, I’ll just go back on. I’m not deluded.

Yes, I know I sound angry. I kind of am.

As a side note, it’s kind of hilarious and ‘delusional’ but I smoked pot in college and thought I had an alien experience. Same thing with ‘Rosetta Stoned’ by Tool. It’s a good song. Not sure if something else happened too, but aliens and pot don’t mix. Looking back, it’s stupid. I was so scared at the time, but realize it’s just a part of life and bad luck happens to good people.

I’ve said this before, but I think ‘Rosetta Stoned’ by Tool is about me. They lifted the song off me.

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