Does sexual abuse make people sexually careless?

Abuse destroys your self esteem but depending on the type of abuse has it made you careless about your body? My dad told me to start masturbating when I was a teen, and he used to tell me I should do porn when I was in between jobs and he wasn’t working, and I had a coach tell me once off hand that it was “about time for you to start having sex”. Are these things sexual abuse? Am I wrong to feel the way I do?

Perhaps it’s over sexualisation and probably inappropriate!

People used to be less mindful of how these things effect others, my mums abusive x partner used to chat up any women he could find and try to get me a date with them… Cringe worthy and embarrassing.

That’s pretty embarrassing

“sexual abuse make people sexually careless”

I think it’s the other way around, no?

If a man is sexually careless, then he is more likely going to do something sexually erroneous with a partner, right?

but if you’re talking about victims of that type of abuse, then I can’t say. I’ve never been intimately abused at a significant level where it affected my intimate lifestyle; (I don’t even have an intimate lifestyle. :stuck_out_tongue: )

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I was sexually abused as a child. From talking to other people you either become overly sexually active or you want nothing to do with sex. I went the first route and slept with anyone I could. This most of the time was men I didn’t even know. I put myself in risky situations and was raped on two separate occasions and on another occasion entered into a sexually abusive relationship with a man twice my age. The flashbacks and nightmares are indescribable pain. I disconnected for so long that I’m just starting now to feel the emotions associated with the memories. Part of me wonders if I was circumcised would it stop the pain. Another part of me wants to kill myself to avoid the emotions. Unfortunately I believe this is a silent epidemic for women especially as I know quite a few other women in my life that have told me they were abused. It sucks! :sunny:

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I’ve been forced into a couple strange encounters before. It doesn’t give me nightmares but it makes me wonder sometimes if I matter as a female and what I mean to others. I feel like a used up bag and I have no memories to show for my experiences. It all happened so fast I feel like sexless hag now. It meant nothing.

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That’s definitely uncomfortable…are you a guy? Because I feel guys are pressured in that way a lot. Have sex, watch porn, etc…if you’re a girl though that’s just really bizarre.

Sexual abuse can result in either completely avoiding sexual activities or becoming hypersexual. I think the hypersexuality is either an unconscious way of reliving the abuse (abuse victims are more prone to be abused again by others) or a way of trying to take back control over their sexuality.

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That’s a weird thing to say to your child. When I was growing up the most anyone has ever said is that my dad made fun of me a bit for being a virgin.

My sister and I were both sexually abused as kids. She coped by becoming very sexually promiscuous. I coped by absolutely hating the idea of sex. From what I’ve seen, people usually fall into one extreme or the other.

It was wrong for the adults in your life to oversexualize you. Things like whether or not to masturbate, or when to start having sex should be your decision, not someone else’s.

One of the unfortunate effects of the Sexual Revolution is that it promoted an oversexualization of much of society. My father was teaching at a junior college during that time and ended up cheating on my Mother partially as the result of that change in society leading to their divorce. My Mother’s brother was actually defending him after he died saying that monogamy was unhealthy for people. It made me want to puke.

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