Does anyone get a connection between suicidal and delusional?

I’m having a real problem with jealousy right now and I have never been so suicidal as now. I find myself reacting into a very “I am special” state of mind that could only chase people away.


Yes my delusions led me into suicide. I nearly killed myself twice. I thought I was Jesus and needed to die to prove that to myself and everyone. Antipsychotics stopped that for me but I still get suicidal ideas like going to heaven faster with suicide. But I don’t act on them while on working meds.

I get jealous easily. It’s so silly because I have more than I have ever had - love and money. And yet, happy children throw me into bad memories of my childhood. It’s difficult for me to be nice to kids.

I get jealous of ppl able to have families or/and work. Without meds my thoughts are extremely grandiose, I think I am Jesus or God.

I used to think I was like Jesus because my “sacred head” was “wounded”.

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