Do you think maybe it was for the best?

Sometimes I think that if I wasn’t sz I would be a college professor working on my twentieth book, but then again, I probably would have been an alcoholic no matter what happened, and I could have fostered a dysfunctional family filled with resentment and bad feeling. I once heard a woman say, “If only people understood what all is involved with the words ‘dysfunctional family’. It is its own special brand of hell.”

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Everyone has problems, we’re just lucky enough to know what ours are.

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I think it was for the best for me. I never wanted marriage and kids. I would no doubt sleep walked into having them if it weren’t for schizophrenia.

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I would prefer not to have schizophrenia.

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It is. I don’t think people would have symptoms if they were supposed to be able to function with the conditions they’re forced to endure. People don’t understand, and probably never have to deal with that kind of crippling stress.

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I see the good out of the bad from getting sz. i always needed a good reason to write a book and now after writing an autobiography on the experience of schizophrenia I have one in my name that I am very proud of…

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You are talking about what is elucidated in Kierkegaard’s “The Sickness Unto Death.” Just because your life path went this way, doesn’t mean it couldn’t have gone worse without the suffering that sz forced on to you.

If given the choice between an average life and a life fraught with sz, i’d choose the average life. I would have earned more money and attracted a dear of a wife. Then two rug rats to carry on the namesake. Seems to me a lot of us sleep walked into sz and now crave normalcy.

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Idk it’s too hard for me to say.

I almost got married in my early twenties.

Having this illness can be very tough at times, but I’m very thankful for all the things I have like food and shelter.

I think I will always try to justify or understand why I got royally sh*t on by God or the universe or whatever you believe in. But in the words of a wise man, “Could be worse.”

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I’ve come to realize that my life would be different if I didnt have sza, but Im not sure it’d be better. Maybe I didnt get psychotic, but maybe I get cancer at a young age and die? What ifs go both ways, and Im trying to be grateful of this horrible thing in the sense that Im trying to get used to it… if such a thing is possible.

I think about having a normal life, but that just seems like a false ideal now after seeing how many friends and family members are going strong on the outside, but are a complete wreck on the inside. Divorce is half of the normal, or getting laid off is the normal now. I have a habit of thinking of the normal life as the good things, but bad things normally happen too.

I’m thankful for family, otherwise, I’d likely be homeless or incarcerated. While I am aware to not take things for granted, I can’t deny the passion in my being for a purpose greater than living life at half speed. Career, family, and wealth are pursuits of life, pursuits of happiness. While living a simpler lifestyle may be ideal, I, like many here, want more! Whether it’s less stigma or fewer symptoms or more money or more friends, we all crave a better life…
sorry @montezuma, didn’t mean to thread you in the response

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No worries. I enjoyed reading your reply either way. :slight_smile:

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That is especially true for me. It might have been worse, so I count my blessings.

I feel like a different path was chosen for me. I guess there is no way of knowing what could have happened.

I often think of what I would have turned out to be without Sz. But these are hypothetical situations and it is best that I learn to live with the condition. Day dreaming can be an outlet at times but can be really harmful if taken too far.

Over the years, I have learnt to count my blessings and to be prepared to accept myself fully. With all the pluses and minuses. I have learnt to laugh at myself, which is very important.

I think my life would have been way better to this point.

I don’t miss kids or marriage though.

No point crying over spilled milk. You got to clean it up.

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@crimby: who do you think chose it? i have an aunt who clearly exhibited sz symptoms growing up. I think it is in my blood to be sz. but i think the suffering i endured was excessive.

Yes it was for the best for all the people earning a fortune with sz.