I don’t seem to like to do any of the things that I have done for fun anymore. I honestly think that I started to like these things less a while ago, but I compulsively tried to get myself to do them over and over again for a long time, because I didn’t know any other way to see myself as a person with likes and interests. Now, the medication combination I’m on seems to have made my compulsive retrying/quitting/retrying of these things stop altogether, and I’m left in a weird state of not being able to generate any ideas for something to do to pass the time. I can only spent so much time introspecting, browsing this forum, or listening to music each day. Do you think that the pattern I’ve described could be a form of OCD that has now been medicated away?
for me, with my OCD, I’m compelled to do things. I almost have to or it’s painful. There’s a drive, an urge. With my obsessions they compel me to take action. Does that sound like you?
Like @leafy says, there is a physical pain associated with resisting a compulsion. It is a feeling of “This must happen no matter what.”
I think it is very normal for people to lose interest in hobbies, then feel guilty for giving up on it and try to force themselves to continue on. Interests and hobbies change over time. I tend to cycle through hobbies. I might get really into baking, then into writing, then crochet, etc. Nothing really holds my interest longer than a couple weeks. I used to feel guilty and try to force myself to stick with things, but my therapist told me that hobbies are supposed to be fun and relaxing, not even more work. Now, I just let my interests come and go as they do. Some weeks, I need to take a break from hobbies and just scroll the internet for a bit.
I think there is a fine line between ocd/mania and just having a hobby. I guess as long as it’s fun and pleasurable it’s a hobby. But if it becomes a chore like if you buy things and don’t even take pleasure in it, then it’s kind of OCD I guess. I was recently trapped in the same thing. I really love movies, but at some point it became too much. I bough stuff and felt I had to watch many movies a week, not because I really wanted to, but I felt I had to do it to get through all the stuff I had bought. Now I stopped buying things and decided I will only watch stuff when I really feel like it. Subsequently I have been watching a lot less movies lately and it feels liberating. Now I just watch the odd movie when I really want to.
I have a lot of interests if they are not hobbies. Most of them don’t feel compulsory to me except for my prayer, yoga, and piano practice. Those three I try to do very regularly. All the others, I do as I feel like it.