I’ve been ghosted at least once before.
No it’s not ok to ghost someone.
Have the decency to be upfront.
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I don’t think I’ve ever been ghosted before. It sounds horrible. I’m sorry you were ghosted, @anon98459728. It seems rather harsh.
I hope you can find the right person who shows real interest in you.
I recommend not telling them about your SZ for a few dates, though. Like @Ninjastar said, there’s a lot of stigma. You have to educate them a little bit when you disclose so that they have a true understanding of what it is instead of thinking you’re a serial killer.
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Yeah I was going to wait but after she said a few things it felt more like hiding it from her than waiting for the right moment.
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I see where you’re coming from. Dating is tough.
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You ARE ENOUGH. Personally, I like the intellectual type. Sure, I’ve dated men and we ended up working out together… there has to be more than just a physical attraction for me.
I’ve met several men from dating sites, and even got a marriage proposal. I said no because he had epilepsy and REFUSED to wear his helmet. He died after having a seizure and being in a coma for a couple of days. I made the right decision.
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It’s not nice and it doesn’t feel nice but unfortunately it happens. They don’t want to hurt your feelings but in the process end up doing it anyway or at least make you feel like there’s no closure.
I once was talking to a guy who asked to talk to skype. So I said ok why not. then said there was someone at the door and then never contacted me again…
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sorry that happened @anon98459728.
no, I don’t think ghosting is ok at all. I don’t like that word. In my part of the world it’s called ‘rejection’ and I think that’s important because rejecting someone is a big deal & a big responsibility & something that should be handled gracefully and with care for the person you reject. The word ‘ghosting’ is a load of crap that is just very, very rude and poor form. In the rare event that I reject a man I go to great pains to do so in a way that does not hurt his self esteem but also does not give false hope that I am interested romantically or will be in the future. Firm but kind. It’s very hard work but that’s what I choose to do & don’t understand why others don’t.
In future, I’d suggest meeting a girl in person sooner as face to face is the most important. I wouldn’t disclose about never having sex before or sz so soon & definitely not by text. Spend some time together in person & see if there’s a connection.
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Getting ghosted sucks. I was talking to a lass, and things were going great. She was messaging me every morning, we were all set up to have our first phone conversation after about a week, and then out of nowhere she blocks me on everything.
I wish people would say “hey, I’m just not interested.” It would give me piece of mind. I try to be understanding that they might have had bad experiences when rejecting someone, which is a legit excuse to ghost. I’ve seen texts of people who go crazy when they are rejected online, and I’ve seen it in real life at the bar. It can be a scary thing.
Still though, in a perfect world I’d like a “not interested,” so I wont ruminate on what I did wrong.
As far as when to tell them you have a mental illness, I haven’t found the right time. I’ve told right away and it was an issue, I’ve waiting until 2nd or 3rd date to tell and that was an even bigger issue. I was met with a “HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME?!?” I responded that it is my mental health and I have the right to decide when I want to tell someone, and I left.
Its probably a safer bet to wait until you at least meet once or twice, and I’ve learned to softly lean into it. Say things like “I experience the world a little bit differently,” or “I have a mental health condition that I’m working on.” That has worked best for me, because at no point can they accuse me of withholding information, and most people assume mental health condition means a more common ailment. It gives me some time to limit the stigma, because they know I have a condition,and they also find out that I’m not dangerous.
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In the dating realm I think ghosting is just poor manners. At least have the courtesy to be honest about why you’re not continuing the relationship. Caveat: As @Ninjastar says, if someone legitimately feels they could be at risk by carrying on with the relationship, their disappearing is understandable.
As to ghosting social media acquaintances (people you sorta, but don’t really know), I’ve met some folks on Facebook in, say, broadcasting groups that are… Good from afar, but far from good. Once you get to know them better you’re like, “oh ■■■■.” That’s usually followed up by BLOCKing them right away. When it comes to Net Weirdos, block early and block often.
My 2 cents.
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