Do you think ghosting is ok?

Is it just the new normal now? I was talking to a girl for a couple of weeks through text and, it was going great. She really started opening up to me and I think she liked me. One thing is though, I told her I had never had sex before because, and she started wondering why, thinking I was maybe a catfish or something. When it seemed appropriate I decided to open up to her about having sz, and after that, she just said, thanks for telling me and started ignoring my messages. Do you think it is appropriate, that this is just how it is now? Or do you think you should just give them a reason and tell them you dont want to date them?

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Sorry that happened to you @anon98459728-- think ghosting has been around for a while, but now it’s easier to do when the main channels of communication are digital.

It would be nice to get some form of closure, but I think people would rather spare feelings than be direct.

Wishing you luck :sunflower:

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Dont be so hard on yourself.

If someone ghosts you (I dont even like that term) they were probably just talking to you because of a temporary situation, i.e;

  • Their best friend was busy
  • Their girl/boyfriend was busy
  • They were at some family gathering
    Etc etc.

They were only conversing with you because they were pretty much bored and it wasnt because of you personally.

Hope this helps.

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I have experienced ghosting before and it’s not nice.

My best friend did it to me five years ago and we have not spoken since

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I’d rather they just rip the bandaid off, so I’m fine with being ghosted. It’s better than them trying to let you down softly for ages and ages.

I still prefer being ghosted to hearing ā€œyou’re not my type,ā€ which basically for me means ā€œyou aren’t a manly guy, you’re not muscular enough and you don’t smell like aftershave.ā€ If they’re looking for a 6 and a half foot lumberjack to carry them through a log cabin, I will not suffice. I’m a skinny guy with a boyish face.

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I dont understand, if you are getting ghosted, you are being told you are not my type anyway. At least you have closure. If someone told me I was not muscular and I didnt smell like aftershave, I could say, well I will get a girl who is not interested in that and maybe think about going out and buying some paco rabanne. I would prefer to be disappointed than offended.

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That’s a good point I guess. I don’t think I’ve been ghosted before, I usually get a yes or a no, and if it’s a yes I need to figure out if it’s a real yes or a don’t want to hurt your feelings yes. I got just enough real yes responses to have a moderately active dating life in my twenties before I got sick. Now I don’t feel like I have enough to offer somebody, so I haven’t asked anybody in quite some time.

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ignoring you is kinda like telling you anyway that they dont want to date you, some people have difficulty saying know and this is probably easier for them.

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I wonder if it’s more common nowadays than say ten years ago.

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Some people dont wanna date, some people just want friends.

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I’m sorry, but I just don’t think it’s right. Even if you send a text telling the person you aren’t interested, at least they aren’t sitting around waiting on you. Ghosting is cruel, in my opinion.

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Sorry - But im one of those that has ghosted many people. Ive just disappered before and even moved town and removed my facebook.

I have my reasons tho - sometimes the relationship is too one sided, or they are impacting my mental wellness. Im not just talking about romantic relationships - sometimes i just have to move on and do something different.

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That’s so rude.

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I hate to say this, but the number one reason girls ghost on guys is because they’re scared of a bad reaction. This has nothing to do with you either. They probably had a bad experience in the past and are now intimidated at the possibility of facing conflict with any guy. The other main reason is, like @anon57786250 said, they were just using you to pass the time and feel desirable, and they ghosted the minute they thought you were catching real feelings.

Either way, it is probably not personal, even though it feels very personal.

As a side note, I never got any dates from being up front with my schizophrenia. I learned to wait until about date 3 to bring it up, because by then they liked me, and could tell o wasn’t a serial killer. The stigma is real, and it makes dating hell.

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I am pretty picky on Match.com and have ā€˜ghosted’ my fair share, if ghosting is the right term for just not responding back to messages of those I’m not interested in.

I actively only ghosted one person who I found out looked different than her pictures.

Overall I don’t feel bad about any of it but then again I have been ignored and it’s not horrible.

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I’m clueless about ghosting . Is it just about intimate/romantic relationships , or does it also involve friendships ?

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I suppose it is possible to ghost a friend, I dont think that really happens though.

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That sucks it’s reasons like that I don’t put myself out there. I’ve had friends ghost me too, I think they’re scared or mean or something. It’s not as bad for me if it happens early on in the relationship but still sucks. There should be a schizophrenic dating site.

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In my more recent dating experience, this has become the norm, sadly. Typically, even after a couple dates, if the woman is no longer interested she just stops taking my calls and replying to my texts. I greatly prefer a straight shooter who will just tell me she is not interested. I’m sure men do it, too, though.

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I can imagine carnage with such a site. Imagine each others issues and paranoia bouncing off each other. There are degrees of illness with Sz - you can see it on here.

I wouldnt join lol.

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