I wasn’t allowed to watch much TV at all growing up. My mother had pretty bad untreated OCD and the TV was part of it. But I’m actually glad for it. I still don’t really watch TV and that’s probably for the better.
I don’t watch much T.V. at all. I didn’t watch T.V. ever for six and a half years after my son died. Lately, I’ve been watching a little bit of Spanish language T.V. But, only that.
I wasn’t allowed to watch anything with violence, cursing, or revealing women. Which was dumb, because I was allowed to watch the Spanish news and there is like no censorship of any kind on there.
I remember a little bit of when I was young. Bits and pieces. But, not much. I was very abused as a kid and as a young woman so, it is all a blur today. And that’s probably a good thing. Or I would probably have PTSD.
I remember the warmness of my mom singing to me in the cradle. It’s my earliest memory. Some colors, a few shapes, and a really nice sound flooding my ears. Sometimes I wish I was there again, to get away from this psychosis ■■■■. It’s starting to hit me harder and harder, and the meds aren’t really keeping up. Unlike when I was a kid, and one dead-end lot in a Midwest town seemed like the whole world. That’s another thing I miss, when the whole world was just what I could see. Now there’s the actual planet, and all the people on it to think about. I can never get them off my mind, and sometimes it feels like they’re literally in my mind too.