Really, she sounds to me a rather obedient kid who is always listening to others and attending to other people’s need. If i were you i would feel strongly that I want to protect her too.
I meet someone who is still in a psychosis when i was in the hospital. With a lot of magical thinking, this person really acted very lovely and naive back then. 
The real person is different.
I do agree my behaviors are much younger than my actual age a lot of time.
I cringe when i think of the past too.
great advice and that’s what i try to do. 
Sorry to be negative but I regret that I was born. This world is just not worth it. 
Sometimes I wish that there’s a time machine and I’ll find a way to make sure I was not born.
One time when I was little, my mom was very tired after a hard day with my older very ADHD problem child brother and was ranting about never getting to do what she would like to do, then blurted out “I wished I had only had ONE child”!! Me being the last of 4 and only girl, didn’t take long to blurt out just as loud “ME TOO”!!!
The look on her face after realizing the truth hurt…ick.
i would go back and press charges against the man who raped me…maybe not for the rape as i couldn’t have handled that in court…but for the next week when he drug me from my car and stuffed me into his… techincally that is kidnapping…and false imprisionment…
he could have been in jail or deported… i would feel a lot better…
there are a lot of things i would like to have done differently… some things with my kids…i made some mistakes with them…could have gotten them killed… did stuff like kept bad milk in the fridge…so even if i had good milk the little ones who couldn’t read the date yet might use the bad milk before i got up… yuck…
i was a bad mom in some ways… i love my kids…but maybe i shouldn’t have been the one taking care of them… even though i always resented my parents for trying to take them away from me…
i did lots of good things for them too… like took them to playgrounds and parks almost every day and played with them… pushed them in the swing… slid down the slides with them… played in the water outside the Chattanooga aquarium and stuff… i did a lot with them…
i used to cook a lot more too… but i was a terrible housekeeper…still am… i would wash clothes and just make a pile of clean clothes…
i love my husband…but i would do a lot differently with him too… i have lied to him about stupid stuff like food…i am so addicted to food…
it undermines our relationship…
hugs to all
jamesgirl
There are things in the past I wish I had done differently. What I REALLY regret is missed opportunities. Things I could of done or should have done but I didn’t.
hmmm that’s difficult. i would never have smoked pot knowing what i know now. it gave them the perfect excuse for all this ■■■■. but then if i hadn’t have smoked it i wouldn’t have my kids so i couldn’t change it if i wanted to. if i was going to change my life, i would have stayed in england and not moved to spain when i was 15 years old. that’s where it all went wrong for me. if i did go, i wouldve stayed home at night instead of going out with my brother and friends. i wouldve stuck to my parents like glue. none of it was my fault, i was just in the wrong place at the right time i guess but it’s followed me ever since and it sucks big time. my kids have suffered because of it. if there was a way of jumping dimensions and reliving my life then i would change everything because my kids would still exist in this one. then i would get my freedom from this ■■■■ and see what i would have turned out like with no rapes and no torture and no drugs. that would interest me greatly. but in this dimension, i couldnt change my past or it would erase my children so i guess i’m stuck with my life at the moment. shame as i’m uber talented lol.
i am talking about my past with my new ’ wolf eyed ’ clinical psychologist, well had one session !
i think if i have to talk about it to much i will probably blow my head off… she won’t see that coming !
take care
Thanks everyone for telling me your experiences. i have a few experiences at work where i acted like an idiot!! when i was having mental health problems and one girl knew some people i went to school with so it makes me a bit paranoid on facebook. It’s not a huge deal but it’s embarrassing. People talk afterall. But i try not to think about it and just look forward to life and improving myself and being a better person and hopefully more years with no positive symptoms. 
That is very cool. You’ll get there. I’m in your boat and rooting for you. Trying to be known for positive action and not positive symptoms. 
Thank you! I’m rooting for you too and following you. I really admire you and that you work with symptoms and the job that you have. It think it’s awesome!! Also that you are open about being schizophrenic. Off to church now.