Do you knew the total given up? We're you a very severe case, but you felt better?

OK, I am not sure my states are human anymore…
But before, I was real given up for something like 10 years… big mistake I guess, isn’t it?.. people dislike and avoid the given up people I find…
Why I gave up already at the age of 20? There was very severe violence at home by my father, I’ve closed in myself as child already, unable to talk much to my friends even or eventual partners… I was blaming myself for all, that I was feeling and I couldn’t get out of it, I just turned sick… I couldn’t share my problems at home, we probably couldn’t share nothing there… we were allowed even for example, to dance cause for my father it was a slu* thing… he was beating my sister as child already, until she has blood from her mouth yeah…
Idk how she survived, it’s me who turned sick…
But now I am an adult myself, it’s all up to me now, what do you think? I know that I’ll be a sz all my life, I just want to feel fine finally and have a life now…
Do you estimate, that you were in very severe, ill states?
Yeah, my ex pdoc stated to stop switching the ap and pay efforts now. She doesn’t see my recovery without efforts though… but isn’t this a bit unserious to say to a sz? To beat sz with efforts? My life situation is very bad , for sure… you can’t feel well when you have nothing in life I guess… or you can? :thinking:
My mother thinks, that I’ll be forever sick and alone… not a nice thing either… :triumph:

Can you rise above even if you knew so much total given up for long and if it still happens per moments? Idk what to think on that…

Yeah i was a bad case.
So, never give up on yourself.

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But I still wonder if the given up can ruin someone’s mind forever? Does it happen in this illness to give up every night till total despair? Or we still have strengths even if we give up?
Idk if the others give up, idk if this happens in the mi…
@Yellowdiamond , the problem is that I was real sick for the last 20 years and I feel as a specimen with it. I was only ill, nothing else,always complaining too since my dx and this didn’t change much…

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I think people have breaking points
People can go in the depression and give up.
But Everyone can feel when need for change
And try new meds, lifestyle, everyone has a survivor Will too.

And isn’t it strange, that I let myself in pain for 20 years, just like that? Maybe my meds are working better now after years on them lol, idk…
Maybe I should pardon myself :sleepy:
Everyone ran away from me, yelliwdiamond, they shout at me and scold me all the time sheesh…
Did I have the survivor will too? Maybe my heart is just cold now, that’s all…
I don’t want to burden now though… I’ll probably regret one day all my behaviour here :pensive:

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I was a severe case. I didn’t give up because my dad wouldn’t let me. If it wasn’t for him I most likely would not have accomplished what I have accomplished.

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Really quite severe according to my mom.

However, after the right combination and help from the hospital, church last time and family, feeling much better.

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I was catatonic before being on meds.

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Same. 151515char

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