I have some people in my life that can only care for me when I am victimized. if I am not a victim at the time, they don’t like or care for me at all. pity is the best they can do I suppose.
is this common?
judy
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No one here, someone has been damaging my trucks and no one cares, police do nothing, on my own and I really don’t want any type of pity care, I can usually spot it and avoid it.
Ha! Consider yourself lucky then 
Everybody I know is pretty unhelpful at all times. Not that I’m bitter about that, lol!
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My dad cares about the cons of opening up
I don’t have anyone like that but I have people who constantly victimize themselves and it gets tiring… 
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That sounds passive-aggressive. Some in my family are that way.
It’s like they’re so insecure that they can only interact with you when you’re down. They’re used to you being a certain way, with themselves maybe feeling superior, and they don’t know what to do with you when you’re not so vulnerable…?
That’s scary. Are they getting a secret thrill out of your pain or something?
I’ve never really gotten pity from people, ever. Not even my family come to think of it and they ruined my life. Maybe that’s why I’ve felt so lonely all my life.