OR just ■■■■■■■ quit trying to idealize reality and experience in relation to others, especially in relation to “authority” figures, Before, During, or After your Crisis Of Consciousness.
Up until 15 I was normal and very smart in everything in school. At 15 I started having cognitive symptoms and started to loose my emotions, became apathetic. Then my grades started being worse starting with language courses. At 16 onward I started having inappropriate emotions like inappropriate laughter. At 17 I started to self isolate and not talk to friends.
At 18 I started hearing voices insulting me and a baby cry. I started to drink heavily and vomiting at home. At 19 I tried weed and became aggressive destroying mirrors, doors and walls the next day. At 20 all my university grades went down to 50ish and saw many Drs telling them I am hearing voices and that I don’t feel real or normal. They all said its stress. They refused to refer me to see a psychiatrist (A general Dr referral is required to see a psychiatrist here).
At 21 I stopped university and voices got violent telling me to kill myself bcz I am Jesus and won’t die. They said prove us you’re Jesus so I swallowed a whole Tylenol bottle and ended up nearly dying Drs said in the emergency from liver failure. I was diagnosed with psychosis the same day. I started Abilify which made me a junky, an addict, hypersexual and bad. It changed my personality for the bad and made me have bad friends.
These bad friends were into drugs, cocaine, weed, extasy and into prostitutes. They badly influenced me so I was smoking weed and paying prostitutes every week. I emptied all the money I had made since I worked at 14 y.o. Then my parents paid my Visa debts (I retreated cash from my visa) and closed my Visa.
Then at 29 y.o. I asked my psychiatrist that my personality was never bad and I was never into drugs and prostitutes before starting Abilify. He said Abilify can do this and he switched me to Latuda. My original personality came back, I stopped all addictions, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping etc I stopped hanging out with all these bad friends.
On the bad side, I developped severe negative symptoms but its still better than who I was on Abilify. Now I am that good person with severe negative symptoms on Risperdal.
i dont think ive ever been normal, even before psychosis onset my life was full of unfortunate events
Once, back in 1923. That was a good day.
Probably felt normality between 1 - 15 years old then after this the ■■■■ hit the fan.
But I was never really normal.
Same thing with me, sz symptoms hit me gradually starting at age 15.
I grew up depressed so nothing new there. I seem to remember having such immense joy when my parents took us to Disney World when I was nine or so. Swimming in the ocean. Going to this cool hole in the wall go cart place. Being scared of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Loving the King Kong and ET rides at Universal Studios. But from age ten and on, after a childhood trauma, I was never the same and the real kicker is that I didn’t even realize anything bad had happened to me
I had a kickass childhood for the most part. Mom got cancer when I was 8 and died of it when I was 11. From that day on, it was a $hit sandwich. But 0-11, yeah, I was normal.
No, I never got to experience “normal”. I grew up feeling very alienated from other kids due to my experiences.
I didn’t start hearing voices until I was 38.
I guess I was weird growing up but I had a couple normal friends and we did a lot of normal kid stuff. We rode our bicycles, went fishing, played a lot of football, baseball, and basketball, we bought slingshots or made our own, flew kites, played hide and seek with the girls on our street or just hung out and talked with them on summer nights. Went swimming in my friends doughboy, worked out with weights in his backyard. I guess we didn’t evolve much from kids who grew up in the 1950’s.
The memory of wen I was normal is slowly beginning to fade. I have vague memories it’s mostly about difference in energy and connection to the world.
I never felt abnormal. I always thought other people were. Although I frequently had anxiety and felt awkward.
No. Much of my childhood was gone because of abuse and trauma.
Probably a little bit of junior high school but I don’t really think so.
I was not a normal child.
I was not understood by anyone.
Definitely not my parents.
I hated being a child n teen sucked too.
My best I have been is probably the last four years I think.
I had apathy depression etc and hopeless as a child .
No never felt normal.
My mum thinks I’m autistic.
I was always different. Was a bright child but had some issues with thought in hindsight. I always had racing thoughts and just got by.
I can remember being 14 and the thought of mental health would never even cross my mind for months at a time. It is not like now, back then I had some sort of feeling of security. I wouldnt say I was normal though, although I definitely passed for it.
Yea I remember watching a beautiful mind before I became ill I was completely oblivious (I think that’s the right word, me trying to be smart lol)
Never really felt normal tbh, From a very early age i knew something bad would happen to me and it did! I got schizophrenia!