That somehow it’s gotten smaller all of a sudden? It’s hard being the only conscious being in this fake universe, but then again, I don’t know who or what wrote this so don’t believe a word.
When I drink my perception becomes more limited. It is literally blocking out the outside world. I know if I continue it will shrink even further. I feel it in my vision. I feel it in my bones. I feel it emotionally.
I don’t need to diminish to inexistence anymore, so a couple of drinks enough. It is an isolation of myself, like a barrier. I understand alcoholism and the need for others to extinguish themselves to oblivion completely, but that’s not for me anymore.
Other than that I don’t feel the universe closing in on me.
I usually drunk in order to feel human, but even that fails me sometimes.
To me it feels like a prison that keeps getting smaller and smaller.
I keep trying different things to improve my situation and it feels like the universe is denying me and solutions, then tightening it’s grip. Right now it feels claustrophobic.
yeah, most people do it to socialise. To ease the social embarrassment and let loose and relate to other people.
That is what is was like when I was young, but now I understand my body and mind more than i used to and realise its true function.
My very feelings.
I think my ap’s aren’t working well like they were before.
My pdoc moved out of town back in June due to COVID. So I guess it is time to find another pdoc, maybe try a new med.
I don’t know about smaller, but I reckon it’s infinite in a multiverse. Wish I could meet all the other versions of me. Then I wouldn’t be alone.
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