That somehow it’s gotten smaller all of a sudden? It’s hard being the only conscious being in this fake universe, but then again, I don’t know who or what wrote this so don’t believe a word.
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When I drink my perception becomes more limited. It is literally blocking out the outside world. I know if I continue it will shrink even further. I feel it in my vision. I feel it in my bones. I feel it emotionally.
I don’t need to diminish to inexistence anymore, so a couple of drinks enough. It is an isolation of myself, like a barrier. I understand alcoholism and the need for others to extinguish themselves to oblivion completely, but that’s not for me anymore.
Other than that I don’t feel the universe closing in on me. 
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I usually drunk in order to feel human, but even that fails me sometimes.
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To me it feels like a prison that keeps getting smaller and smaller.
I keep trying different things to improve my situation and it feels like the universe is denying me and solutions, then tightening it’s grip. Right now it feels claustrophobic.
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yeah, most people do it to socialise. To ease the social embarrassment and let loose and relate to other people.
That is what is was like when I was young, but now I understand my body and mind more than i used to and realise its true function.
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My very feelings.
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I think my ap’s aren’t working well like they were before.
My pdoc moved out of town back in June due to COVID. So I guess it is time to find another pdoc, maybe try a new med.
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I don’t know about smaller, but I reckon it’s infinite in a multiverse. Wish I could meet all the other versions of me. Then I wouldn’t be alone.
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