It’s a frightening situation to be in.
When you feel suicidal, it feels as if you’re the only person standing in this world. Scary how your mind tries to make you believe it’s the only way out. Thank you @SP2342 
I just had an idea to put sticky notes on my wall for the next time I feel like that.
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Your only 21 . They could have a cure in your lifetime , or even some better drugs. Might even have some now that you haven’t tried. Hang in there your best years could be yet to come.
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Jesus talking in the New testament ( Mark 9:47 And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell,). True statement, it would be better. But he’s not asking us to do that, because he has made better arrangements ,at least for us ( at his expense),for our forgiveness. The Bible is full of things that are not meant to be taken literally . It’s the style of writing they use and there type of talk. Like if we said it’s raining cats and dogs they would interpret that pretty straingly . It’s always good to remember God is always righteous and if you think he’s asking you to do something not so righteous were probably miss interpreting or it’s not from him. During an episode it seems we peak into the spiritual world a bit. It’s really important to take the intire Bible into consideration when you are interpreting Scripture. Yes it was written in a span of 2000 years by 60 different authors, but it’s meant to be read and understood as a whole, at least for us. I think sz can be pretty dangerous to a believer that is not that knowledgeable on what God has said. When I first became a believer I had an episode and while praying I had a vision of a human sacrifice. Well I thought God was wanting me to sacrifice my youngest son, pretty crazy. I just broke down struggling to tell God " I couldn’t do it". But were told to “test the spirits to see whether they are from God.” knowing God’s word better now I would know it wasn’t from Him or I’m miss interpreting it. Reason being God has already made the ultimate sacrifice and none other is needed.
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I have had thoughts of thinking death was my only way out and away from the pain. I don’t want to die though. I want to live although I still occasionally think about suicide. The only time that I ever tried (that I can remember) is when I was totally psychotic and believed if I died I would come back merged with God. I wasn’t sad, I was psychotic. I do wish they would come up with a way to cure my brain. make me feel good and be sane. I guess I’ll hang in there.
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if you want to talk about biblical stuff, then pm me. I’m leaving this thread though, because I think I accidentally caused a landslide. 
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For the past few months I’ve been wondering what the point of my life is, but I haven’t felt any depressed mood or suicidal urge. I don’t feel any point in living though just to exist and also worry so much. It’s like I don’t want to live as long as this is all there is, and it has felt inescapable for months, days just dragging on. But actual thought of suicide is not there either.
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Wow, that’s terrible. I’m really glad you didn’t go through with chopping your hand off. That would have been awful.
I sometimes think about killing myself to relieve everyone I’d leave behind. I also think about killing myself to escape “delusions” of spies following me and my sister trying to delete me from the family and replace me with her daughters.
I also get messages through the radio from Shadow Man telling me to kill myself to join him.
Earlier last year I got really depressed. I was under a lot of stress at the time and things sort of got out of hand. I was planning a few different ways to try killing myself and settles of one, hanging, but I spoke to my psychiatrist before I did anything. I also spoke to my partner. This stuff is really heavy for him to hear, but he listens all the same and helps me through it.
My nana died in and I was really close to her. I wanted to be with her.
I think about killing myself all day and night. I’ve pretty much made up my mind that I can’t live with this illness but I am also afraid to die. I’m in a really bad situation. It’s a complete and total cunundrum.
Nothing can undo the pain that psychosis has wrecked on my life.
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sure do but i will make it out alive till i die
Over the course of the illness I felt like killing myself many times. But the one time I tried to just made me worse off. I haven’t seriously considered it in a while since i have been doing better and I am anchored by the horror of recovering from that one attempt so long ago. Also the effects that my Grandmother’s suicide attempt had on me helped me see the other side of the story that you harm more people than yourself.
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i’ve been having strong suicidal thoughts since october. just about every day, i think about killing myself; i even say it out loud, but my friends and family take it as a joke.
You will make it buddy 
According to the doctors…trying to rip out ones eyball and slicing your palm from thumb tip to ring finger tip…is considered a suicide attempt…they didn’t take my whole the ravens tempted me to remove they eye with promises of Odin style wisdom…and since I backed out at the last second the gods demanded blood for breaking a promise…
I never considered it a suicide attempt…I wanted all the wisdom the universe had to offer…broke a promise to Odin’s raven and had to pay in blood…you know normal stuff…slicing the palm I didn’t think was considered a legitimate spot to attempt to bleed out…anyway triggers for any with Odin complex which is all of me so be careful flame this may trigger you…