I feel i have got to a better place in terms of those things
looking back sometimes makes me very emotional
It is crazy what we go through
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I feel like I should cry more often.
When I was talking about being bullied one time, people were looking at me funny. Afterwards they said I had been smiling and giggling the whole time. Except it wasn’t funny.
I did cry in the end, but it’s quite rare.
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Might have been nervous laughter. Yea.
Or something else
I cry but not because of that. Mostly tears of joy rather than sadness but it’s the same
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Yes nervous laughter, but I didn’t know I was doing it.
I think I was conditioned to not cry.
Well I know I was.
My parents weren’t very tactful about it.
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Yeah, I ruined my first anniversary with Hubby. He planned out a trip somewhere close-by (Park City, UT) and was trying to make it very romantic and fun. But I was totally psychotic (undiagnosed, at the time) and I ruined the whole thing. I started lots of fights and I had delusions about Hubby that hurt his feelings and kind of ripped a hole between us.
I felt terrible about that, once I was diagnosed and medicated… Looking back on it, I just felt so awful.
BUT, we went back to Park City, UT, for our 7 year anniversary (the most recent one), and we had a blast!! I really wanted to go back and make a good experience to overwrite the first experience.
So, I don’t feel as bad now. Cause we went back and had fun, this time. 
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Yea that’s a really nice idea you did there.
For me I’m actually thinking about very particular moments where I was so alive and alert u know how psychosis goes and that makes me sad cos idk if I’ll ever get to that again.
As I was unmedicated.
However I was also thinking about other terrible times
And thinking, omg, I was a zombie
And now I’m not so much a zombie :’(
It’s kind of like such a deep sentimental feeling. Like the patience and endurance of 5 years was all worth it 
Take care Blossom
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Sorry to hear about the first round of the anniversary but I bet you your partner absolutely forgives you. You two sound sweet together.
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I seem to cry when I am in a less stressful situation. Because it seems like I’m always trying to escape from a nightmare.
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I don’t cry. 15
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I’m attending a literature course where we write poetry, short stories or sometimes about events from our lives. The to Day subject was “a beatiful Day in my life”. And I wrote about my honeymoon in Paris with my exhousband. I have never been happier nor have I ever loved someone so much. All that happened 12 years ago. Then 11 years ago I gave birth to my son and since Then I’ve been suffering from depressions and psychosis. In 2015 I was psychotic and we got divorced. I couldn’t handle to be a fulltime Mother Any more eventhough I got a lot of help from both therapists, social services and my own family.
So yes I cry when I think of it. Because if it hasn’t been for my psychosis/schizophrenia I wouldn’t have lost the love of my life and my son.
I’m still seeing my son as a part-time Mother and my exhousband is my closest friend this Day, but I would have wanted it to turn out very different
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I cringe thinking back to my positive symptoms and how I was acting at the time.
I have every reason to cry about it, just like everybody else here. No one should have to go through so much mental agony and torture and have their life stolen from them in the prime of life. I don’t cry though.
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Every now and then it hits me. Pretty rare but it happens. I try not to dwell on it.
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I personally do not. But I don’t generally have a lot of emotion anymore. I have been having some mild anxiety lately though…so that is something.
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