Sorry to hear about your loss and how impatient your ex was. I hope you have moved on sounds like you have.
I cried like a baby when my mom died ten years ago, but I never cried over my dad’s death three years ago. It seems a little backwards, considering we saw my mom’s death coming three years before it happened (cancer), yet my dad’s death was sudden (heart attack). I’ve felt guilty at times for never crying over my dad. It’s not that I don’t love him and miss him, just couldn’t cry, don’t know why.
That’s terrible about your ex!
That was one of the reasons that I left my ex. I still miss my dad. He has been dead for 10 years.
I agree with wave with it’s all right to or not to cry. We all grieve in our own way. But do allow yourself to grieve. That’s the important thing. I did do some grief therapy and did find that helpful. Most of it is as they say remembering better times remembering the person. We get so caught up in the last moments unresolved issues we get caught up in the pain and anger hence the problem with letting go. Not so much letting go either as will always be and have a huge impact on your life.
One of the songs that got is getting me through.
In my family we never cried when someone died. We figured they had lived a long and happy life, and they were on their way to heaven. We did pretty much abandon my dad before he died. I always felt kind of bad about that. It’s strange. I started having dreams about both my parents after they died, even though I had hardly any contact with them while they were sick. They both had long convalences, but I didn’t dream about them then.
I cry 2-3 times per year. It’s like my brain just saves everything up and then when maximum capacity is reached, I process everything all at once out of nowhere, which typically involves sobbing really hard, violent thoughts and a slew of other of aspects of the grieving phases. In between these processing emotional dumps, I’m pretty numb.