Do you avoid conflict?

I try to avoid conflict at all cost in my life. I simply cannot deal with it. I avoid people with bad tempers and I withdraw from heated conversations. Conflict really makes me feel uncomfortable. How do you deal with conflict?

I tend to avoid conflict these days because I’m not sure if I have the right to be outraged, or if it’s just my Sz talking.

1 Like

I also try to avoid conflict because the complications of conflict are typically beyond my capacity to understand and manage. How can I understand the psychology of another person? How can I understand my own psychology? I have no degree, no adequate amount of psychology knowledge, and I lack insight into the human condition.

My default setting is to believe that it’s usually impossible to resolve conflict because most people prefer to remain in ongoing conflict. Like a person with a gambling addiction, they don’t want to win - they want to gamble. People don’t know how to live life, they only know how to remain in ongoing conflict. Maybe they have unfinished business, maybe they haven’t fully expressed the injustices and inequities to which they’ve been subject. If you remove conflict, they’ll drift right back into conflict. They truly don’t know any other way to live. And, they are not conscious of this, partly because all of society is constantly in conflict. It’s normal, it’s even respected.

In my country, we have a high level of freedom. Those who choose to live a life of ongoing conflict may do so. Those of us who choose to live a life of peace - well - the people of ongoing conflict demand conflict. So how can we all have freedom? Can’t do it. Maybe we can send the POOC (People of Ongoing Conflict) to one part of the country and they can remain in conflict with each other? The POP (People of Peace) could reside in another territory. Or, we could wear labels to identify which group we are in so the POOC won’t bother us. Instead, they can find another POOC with which to be in conflict.

Short answer: I strive to be a POP (Person of Peace). Unfortunately, that in itself puts me in conflict with POOC (People of Ongoing Conflict).

I love this forum. My response is a clear indication that I truly do have psychosis.

2 Likes

A psychologist I used to visit ezplained to me on a graph how productivity increase as anger increase but once anger become too much productivity starts to decrease. I think that is why I have a low productivity level because I do not anger myself that much. I think that in this context it is ok to have a certain degree of anger.

1 Like

I’ve been hit by crossfire in the conflict crises.
Wounded, but unfortunately not fatally.
Going on day 39 of hell in a handbasket, neatly prepared by loved ones.

1 Like

I have Depersonalization Disorder… I avoid everything.

I’m ok if I’m in the fight. I hate listening to others fight - just have to tell myself to stay out of it. Peace is not the suppression of a fight, that just makes a dull misery.

1 Like

people try to pick fights with me I usually just avoid them. My father in law tries to pick fights with me all the time, it’s more like a one sided fight because if I defend myself in any way I get sent to what my in laws refer to as kyle land which is what they call my parents house. They know I don’t get along well with my brother, we fight all the time

1 Like

I originally read this: ‘but fortunately not in Italy.’ Maybe you should take a vacation.

3 Likes

I grew up in an alcoholic family. Angry people frighten me. Involvement in conflict feels as if my life were in danger.

Jayster

2 Likes

I read that there are animals that fight to defend themselves and those that flee. Either ia valid.I’ve always identified with rabbits. They flee from a dog and dissappear into a thicket of bushes, sneaking out by a back way while the dog guards the place they went in, becoming dogged and confused because there is no show. - the rabbit escaped long ago.

1 Like

Yes, until I feel personally attacked.

1 Like

:hamster: hug
take care :alien:

2 Likes

i don’t avoid conflict…people avoid me
i have a ’ sith ’ button :red_circle:
press it and…:boom:
take care :alien:

2 Likes

I used to avoid any form of confrontation.
I used to let people walk all over and take advantage of me.
Now I will be strong and not fall into that trap.

2 Likes

Our personalities are so different I see. Most of us avoid conflict, some don’t mind to be in the middle of a fight and others really knows how to defend themselves. The fight, freeze or flight responses comes to my mind. I’d say I’m the freeze type of person.

1 Like

Are those the only possibilities?

When I figured out how I had been conditioned, socialized, habituated, accustomed and normalized to believe in limited – often unconsciously stipulated – possibilities, I began see other possibilities.

This how I figured that out. And this is how I found the other possibilities.

REBT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_therapy
Schematherapy – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schema_Therapy
Learned Optimism – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_optimism
Standard CBT – https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Treatment/Psychotherapy & scroll dow
DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
MBCT - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22340145
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
SEPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somatic_Experiencing
SMPT – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensorimotor_psychotherapy
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html

1 Like

conflict sucks and is unavoidable. my ptsd/ trauma is heightened when I’m involved, especially at work. I try to stay away from the in-fighting as much as I can. was told by a co-worker that I’m hard to read-- yeah, because I want nothing to do with the garbage that you and the others roll around in

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed 3 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.