Schizophrenia.com

Do you also have a tough mother? Can you explain me the psychology behind that behaviour?

Mine lately corrects every word of mine… I am scared and she still wants me to be compassionate about my ill friend, who is at the hospital for example… She shouts at me, that i lack compassion…
My father was beating my mother and my sister and my mother still defends my father after his death…
Yeah, she just corrects me now for everything and wants me to act normally… She is also able to say things like, that not any single med helps me and she asks me why?
i had enough of her tbh… i am alone in my pain…
Whats the psychology behind that woman? She is maybe desperate, cause i was ill for long? I wonder if she loves me even now…

Your mother is clearly frustrated with you.

I get it.

You’ve been in your room for years,

That’s hard to watch.

With you refusing to take even baby steps toward recovery,

I’m sure it’s really difficult for her.

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that’s really sad, @Anna1
But remember that you never really alone, we are always here for you.

And about your mum i’m not sure… i never understood that how families with an abusive father and the mother keeps protecting the abusive father.

But i don’t think you should pretend everything is all right for you when things are not at all all right. Her love should not be conditional with how you are… you can’t help that things are being hard for you.

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So i should understand her too?
Now i fight, goldenrex, really… I see some small progresses… But my evenings are harder still…
But can you understand that the meds didnt help me either? Dont you find this hard? Ok, i am a psycho now, i am almost sure, so i should change that…
It wasnt my fault that i ended up inactive and scared from the outside…
Ok, the normies will never get it…

Ok, i should not hate her now?
She tries to fix me still… I am probably just a psycho now, yeap, thats all…

Yes, you should understand her too.

She’s watching your life pass and is getting upset.

You say you’re making small progress,

Like what?

You can’t just rely on medications alone.

I get that they aren’t working the way you want to but you have to put some effort in too.

I’m not trying to give you a hard time,

I’m just letting you know why your mother acts the way she does.

I am going outside every day now. Tomorrow, i’ll try my dentist for example…
I am working on my character, where there was anger, irritability and i am working on my somatics. I am trying to be a better person and i move more at home… I try some wisdom too now, like not thinking that all is pink etc… I am working on my feelings, developping my sensibility and am trying to reconnect with the reality.
Ok, its probably hard for her, ok…

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Good,

I’m glad you’re going out and stuff.

That’s better than it was a couple years ago.

Keep making progress Anna.

If ya ever have kids Of your own one day…maybe you will understand why she is tough.

She is hurt, thats why?
well, i want almost to puke now after this emotion of anger against my mother…
sorry, but it wasnt my fault that i ended up inactive and now shes unhappy with me… They never asked me since kid how i was feeling and i saw so much unhappiness since child, that i ended up being this beast now…

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She sounds like she could practice compassion herself. I understand the situation is difficult for everyone involved, but it’s not your fault if the meds aren’t working as she expects them to. Arguing with you about it isn’t going to change that, or make it easier on anyone.

Imo… The best way to approach, is to first realize you aren’t going to change how she chooses to react, you can only control you. Knowing how she is, don’t expect to be heard, or understood. Try to understand her instead, not because she’s right, but because you need to live in as much peace as you can. The more you can anticipate her reactions, the easier it is to face them.

If she’s concerned about your meds not working, offer solutions. Make an appointment with your Dr to discuss med changes, show her you’re taking her concerns seriously. Maybe offer to take therapy if you aren’t already. Even if you don’t want to, the benefit of it getting her off your back may be reward enough.

Unfortunately in this dynamic, you’re the one who has to do the appeasing. She isn’t going to change, because she doesn’t see herself as part of the problem, and you will never convince her she is.

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