I know it’s a tough world and nobody is handing out free power or control. But I swear every time I show a little life or real power people will do anything to either crush it or play with my mind and draw it towards themselves. I get so sick of it. Does this happen to any one else? Am I imagining it?
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To quote John Prine,
That’s the way that the world goes 'round
You’re up one day, the next you’re down
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I am going to say you’re not necessarily imagining it, but you focus excessively on it and it makes you very upset. Most people aren’t as preoccupied with power and social status as you are. You don’t have much in the way of clout IRL, and it makes sense you wish you had more and feel resentful of people who you view as having more power. But most people are trying to just live their lives. Power is one of those things you never notice until you have either a lot or none. Most folks fall in the middle and don’t really think about it.
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Some people really ‘trigger’ me, and it really makes me feel demoralised. I learn to distance myself from that. It is not ideal but it does the survival trick. For now.
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I used to feel this way right before I landed in hospital. I’m not saying you’re heading for hospital though.
Can I suggest you spend more time with your sisters? Even talking to them on the phone as you probably shouldn’t meet them due to covid. I think that would help.
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Yep, honestly, I think so. You sound symptomatic man. Sorry.
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When I was psychotic I thought my brothers stole my energy and caused me sz so I attacked them. Now I find it stupid.
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I have mojo but not a power complex. Mojo is just being treated a certain way by the outside world, be it a friend, cashier, a stranger, etc. If we exchange smiles or pleasantries, usually I’ll build good mojo. A few dirty looks then I play it close to the vest. No way in knowing which way mojo will turn, the goal is more positive interactions than negative ones.
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I think trying to one up/put down others is a lifestyle for many it seems. I think its a disease in its own way. You can see it easilly in political media. They try to destroy the other party and rarely even talk about what they stand for.
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I think what your experiencing is common. There are a lot of folks who try to dominate the energy flow in everything. I don’t get along with people like that. I am kind of hungry for some sort of power or control but I try to lift people up instead of take things away from them. Maybe I’m wrong and a complete jerk who knows but yes I’ve experienced the same thing.
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The best thing to do is not worry and do your usual thing no matter what and stick up for yourself
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