I am way, way, pissed at C. He forgot my birthday. It was the worst day of my life and I was counting on a ‘happy birthday’ from him to shed at least a little positive light on it.
Family therapy. There is nothing that will make you feel like a bigger nut case than family therapy. I just sat there crying while my Mom gave some politician grade answers about always loving me. She dropped a big bomb though and said that she and dad always knew I was suicidal. They never got me help. Worst day of my life.
Moving on though, I just now feel like I don’t love C any more. I used to be with him and be all all the time he was around and now that’s suddenly cooled. The thing is though I’ve only been this mad at him once in our seven or so years. That was the day I thought he cheated on me (he didn’t but I saw some texts and over reacted. Once I calmed down ever I had to admit that I over reacted). I felt conflicted though because I felt like I still deeply loved him. Right now… zilch. Nothing.
My mom and dad said they think he is using me for money but I never beleived that was true and my therapist took his side on it like I did. His family isn’t as well off as mine and he does sometimes pay for stuff but they’re going through a serious crunch right now. He smokes though and smokes weed and that really pisses me off. He doesn’t have a job either but I can’t talk because I don’t have a job as well.
He’s always there when I need him though and he seems to love me very much.
I honestly don’t think I have a right to be mad which is why I think I must not love him right now rather than being mad. He asked me if I was ok numerous times last night but he had a friend over and I didn’t want to start some sort of couple’s feud and made his friend feel awkward.
Does mad feel like not love?
I know that @darksith has a great relationship with his wife and so does @Patrick. What do you guys think?