Hello, I am 16 years old and I have been experiencing a great deal of the “negative” symptoms of schizophrenia in the past couple of months.
These symptoms are not accompanied by strong delusions or hallucinations (Maybe some, will explain later in post)
My family has a history of depression, and “my cat” has taken the psychedelic drug LSD over ten times in the past year, and I’ve heard this substance can trigger schizophrenia and/or depression.
The symptoms I have been experiencing are as follows:
Apathy: I have lost interest in various activities in school, am in no extracurricular activities, and don’t engage in many activities other than computer games and tv. I always put off homework and personal hygiene and just do enough to scrape by.
Absent/Blunted Emotional Responses: This is a big one for me. I have noticed I speak in a monotone/emotionless voice all the time. I feel depressed a lot and when i’m in situations that should make me happy or excited, i feel nothing. I had a thing with this girl for a while and she always noticed i acted weird, like i couldn’t function the way a normal person does. I had trouble making eye contact, always spoke in the same monotone uninterested voice, never showed any emotion. I didn’t know how to small talk or hold a normal conversation. I don’t even know if i felt emotion. I have a blank or sad face about 70% of the day, if not more. I wasn’t always like this, I used to be excited and exaggerated and happy.
Reductions in Speech: I have also noticed my replies are shorter, I have difficulty in normal conversation, forget words I should use a lot. Stuff like that. I often have long pauses in my sentences. I lose interest in conversations quickly
Social Withdrawal: I do my best to avoid social situations, pretend i don’t see people in the hallway, even my friends, I listen to music instead of talk to people, etc. When I had a thing with that girl instead of being excited to see her I was scared of being weird and not even knowing how to talk to her.
Lethargy: I feel tired all day every day, no matter how much sleep I get. I feel unmotivated to do anything, to take showers, to even get up. This happens very often.
The following symptoms I am not sure how to categorize:
A) I think of things very deeply and view human existence as meaningless, and often realize how small I am and how pointless everything is. This really makes me think “Why do I even do anything anymore?” I think like this every day, at random times
B) I don’t know if this would be called a delusion, but when i’m alone I often think conversations and stuff. Not quite full conversations, they don’t mean anything. I’ll think something along the lines of “Yeah, oh okay, yeah like… like” a bunch of words with no real subject, but they build on each other. This happens very often in the morning hours and after school when I’m not doing anything.
C) Also in the mornings before my brain is fully awake, when my alarms are going off, I think the weirdest thoughts, like i’m still in a dream and rules of reality don’t apply. Only while i’m still half asleep. Not sure if this is normal or not
Also, “my cat” has tried 30mg doses of Adderall from a friend he knows. When he took them he felt amazingly bright, all of the above symptoms vanished and he felt like a normal, functioning member of society. He participated in class and felt motivated and socialable and enthusiastic. I know Adderall treats ADHD and not Schizophrenia, but it helped “my cat” for some reason.
This is greatly affecting my quality of life and ability to develop and maintain relationships with others, each day gets worse and I just want to feel normal again. Any advice or ideas would be great