Do any of you experience this?

I get intrusive thoughts to harm myself. Today I was choking myself in class. My girlfriend sternly asked me to stop, and I started laughing.

I feel so terrible laughing and smiling when I don’t mean to. Is this normal? Or am I just manipulative ?

It isn’t intrusive thoughts if you’re actually doing the actions. Please seek help, right away! You could seriously injure yourself.

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What is it? Compulsions?

Sometimes in the middle of a conversation I move my hands onto my neck (as if almost choking myself). I never exactly choke myself but the thought is still there, so I can sort of relate. I agree with doodle see a doctor. And try to stay calm.

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Do you ever laugh when you don’t mean to?

I got intrusive thoughts to kill myself a couple months ago and I immediately went to the hospital. I was scared I was going to act on it and drive my car off the road into a ditch

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I’ve had similar thoughts of running my car into a pole or off the road

I don’t know what it is. In my line of work, we would refer to it as an automatically maintained self-injurious behavior. Which basically means you do it for no clear reason, just because you feel compelled to.

When we treat kids with these types of behaviors, we usually ignore the behavior as long as the kid isn’t going to cause permanent injury to themselves. Sometimes, when they stop getting a reaction, the behavior starts to fade away. If the kid could potentionally seriously injure themselves, we usually just block them from doing the behavior, while giving bad little attention as possible.

You should tell your doctor that you’re doing these things, and see if they have any recommendations. Are you almost done with school for the year? Are you still planning to take a break from school next semester?

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I remember one time I was directed to overdose by a voice and it made me laugh like a crazy laugh. It was very disturbing. Please get help, it’s not a good sign in my opinion.

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Ah yes that makes sense the attention thing- however I tend to be too embarrassed to do it infront of others. What is your line of work?

Also yes, I’m not going to university next year

Oh that does not sound fun

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Typically my reasoning is to make myself go unconscious when I’m in this state @ninjastar

I was an applied behavioral analysis counselor for six years. I don’t do that anymore, though. I got pretty badly injured. Now, I have a desk job.

If your reasoning is that you want to be unconscious, why do you want to be unconscious? What do you get out of that? Is there another way you could get the benefits from knocking yourself out, without doing something damaging to yourself?

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Oh no I’m sorry to hear that.

I don’t really know why I want to knock myself out so badly. It’s either to go unconcious or to make myself bleed. I think it’s just not wanting to be in the situation I’m in and so I want to try to exit. It’s very hard to resist the thoughts

I wonder if I laugh because I’m receiving attention. Does that make me a bad person?

Could you speak with your school counselor about getting a pass, so you can leave class whenever you feel distressed, and go somewhere quiet to calm down?

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Yea I actually have that - it’s just hard to speak. I am catatonic aside from laughter

It doesn’t make you a bad person. I don’t know whether you’re partially doing it to get attention or not, but even if you are, it doesn’t make you bad. It just means you haven’t yet developed the coping skills to learn how to get the attention you need in a healthier way.

Laughing when you’re upset or afraid is a very common symptom of many mental illnesses. I do it, because as a kid I was punished for crying. So now, when I’m upset, and I’m not in a good place to remember my learned coping skills, I giggle loudly.

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It kind of sounds like this is your way of letting the people around you know that you’re upset and you need help. Can you think of any other ways to ask for help when you feel this way? Like, could you have a sign you can hold up, so the teacher can see it and then help you get to the nurse/counselor/quiet room?

The reason we do any behavior is generally because we get something from it. If you want to stop a maladaptive behavior, the easiest way is to find a way to achieve the same or better result from a behavior that is more beneficial.

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I think you’re right ! Thank you ninjastar :slight_smile:

I was offered to come down to the office at any point to watch the fish tank in the principles office to calm down.

The only problem, and I hope this doesn’t sound too whiney, is that I find it almost impossible to control myself in this state. My girlfriend had to grab me and take me out of the room. It’ll be like I’m yelling at my body to move, and it won’t cooperate. And my eyes get super wide like this O_O

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