Dissociative identity disorder

I don’t really want to recover from it exactly.

It’s very disorienting but my alters are like my family.

I’d like some more control but I don’t really want them gone.

Most people don’t recover from DID some people can integrate their alters into their personality. But I’ve heard that in some cases it’s actually detrimental to the host to do so.

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Thank you @Longhorn21

I’ve just been worried and distrustful of my therapist since the hospital. It wasn’t this therapist that sent me but I’m just suspicious now.

Like I was making good progress with trust but after the hospital I’m not quite back to square one but it was a huge set back for me.

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Going to the hospital always makes us feel like a great set back but we need to find ways to overcome it and strive for the better.

I believe in you and know you will get better soon!

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I’m just scared that everything I do is going to get me sent back. I think I need to work on trust with her again before I pursue deeper treatment.

But thank you for having faith in me

I will not give up :heart:

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Trust is still edgy for me, therapy is helping me get a better understanding of others though.

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@Noise I’ll be honest with you. You come up with some pretty elaborate excuses for not wanting to take psychiatric medications.

I would strongly encourage you to work through your anti-med/med phobia issues with your therapist. You really can’t go through life refusing medical treatment whether for a psychiatric condition or other health condition.

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I have to weigh all of my options @Moonbeam it’s not just my phobia.

Plus no medications for DID. Plus DID is still heavily under researched. To call my genuine concerns about my diagnosis an elaborate excuse, I find it rather insensitive.

My phobia sure call it an excuse, but my alters are real people. They are my family.

Have you considered that maybe you’re refusing meds for your anxiety, depression, psychosis, for the same reason—that you don’t want to recover?

I think it’s worth discussing this with your therapist.

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I’m not going to kill my alters that what I meant by “I dont want to recover” I’m not actively seeking a “cure” for my DID.

I would love to be free of anxiety depression trauma psychosis etc. Recovery is what im working towards.

Everybody thinks we’re something that needs to be cured. Multiplicity isn’t like that. We are all a part of each other. DID isn’t always a curse.

Without my alters. I wouldn’t have been able to go to therapy again. I wouldn’t take care of myself. I would still be in the hospital I assure you.

It’s far from perfect but we are doing our best.

And I have talked to my therapist about them before. I’ve switched on her before. She says it seems like my alters help me more than hurt me.

The only reason I made this post is because ever since I got locked up I’ve been paranoid that I’m gonna get sent back for something stupid

Well, I hope you find your way somehow @noise. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank you @Moonbeam we’re trying our best!

Luckily our therapist seems understanding. Like I said I just need to work on trust again. I feel like that will help us with a lot of the symptoms I’m going through.

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I know a few people with DID, and they all take meds, including @flameoftherhine. You could always ask him how he manages with his alters.

Do you see a specialist who can help you learn to integrate? The integrated folks I know are pretty functional now, because they’ve all agreed on common goals.

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What if recovering from all those things requires a “cure” for your DID. Can you really say one doesn’t impinge on the other ?

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Noise, best of luck in your efforts. With meds, it’s one thing if you’ve tried everything and it doesn’t work. But perhaps it is worth it to give meds an honest try if you haven’t. My meds now help a little, which is probably better than I expected. For me the help is worth it. You may even find that you get good results.

Did you say before you’ve had bad experiences with meds? Maybe if you had a psychiatrist you were sure you could trust that would listen and stop the meds if unacceptable side effects persisted?

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We don’t want to integrate though… And as I previously stated I’ve heard integration can be detrimental to the host…

And just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it’ll work for another

I really don’t understand why meds are coming up right now?? Like I said I was nervous. My doc responded and said it was chill.

And since my psychologist and I are doing therapy for it, which is the treatment, and she says I don’t have to integrate even though she knows my situation much better than everyone here. I’m going to listen to my doctor.

My purpose of this post is to discuss my DID which again there is no medications for…

also as stated they are my family. integration is effectively murdering them in my eyes.

Until a doctor says I need to integrate/medicate I’m going to keep doing the best I can without doing those things.

And I’ve had both my psychologist and a psychiatrist at the hospital tell me I’m welcome to try without meds or integration.

So I’m listening to my doctor.

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I’ll fall off that bridge when I come to it.

I’m glad to hear that meds help you!

Well yea some very bad experiences… it’s pretty traumatic. Some of it was side effects other parts were abuse that I went through from my parents and psychiatrist at the time. Now days meds are a trigger…

I’d consider doing this in the future but for now I’d need to get more comfortable with the idea of taking the meds.

But if I ever do try meds that would be an ideal plan!

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I used to talk extensively with a guy who has DID. He is very high functioning (in that he is very successful at his job and mostly looks like a regular unassuming nerdy tech guy). I remember the day when he came crying to me because his therapy/psychiatry team wanted him to part with his alter (there was only one back then). Now he has a huge system of alters. His personality only fractured further from years of refusing to integrate. I hope you’re doing alright with your multiplicity. He found my disturbed mind beautiful, at least.

I understand the struggle of not wanting to part with them, but it’s a dangerous dance. Good vibes your way. I hope you can make peace with your struggles with medication.

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