Schizophrenia.com

Dissociative Identity Disorder? MPD

I don’t think I have this but the odds would be in my favor for this condition. I’m not sure how having both would work or even having Asperger’s on top of it. I wasn’t abused as a kid and had a somewhat normal life until college in 2011 when I believe I was in MK-Ultra-- Monarch or Montauk Project. Both are traumatic enough but it doesn’t really matter – I believe something like this happened and I cracked and ended up with dissociation called DP/DR and schizo-affective disorder – depressive type. I think it was the US Army, but not sure why they targeted me…I guess I was targeted as an American Citizen. I thought it was aliens too or was or still was at one time.

When I sleep, I get thoughts of “dissociative amnesia” – something I looked up. Doctor will only diagnosis me with SZA and Aspergers, nothing else. Refuses to accept trauma and PTSD and stuff from my life during college around 2010-2013. My other personality is like John Titor but I don’t know. Could be fake or wrong. I just convinced myself I was him.

Obviously, learning about myself is important and education is key, but nobody wants this stuff at all. It’s horrifying.

I’ve felt like I’ve had only 2 personalities – Jackyl and Hyde type (mainly thoughts from research and past lives). The nice guy and then the angry, self-destructive, stupid guy from the anger and hurt over the years and from rejection and denial from trying to get help. I keep the angry guy in check with meds and support and therapy and for other reasons. But I got thousands or millions of past lives from parallel universes – memories that are like from personalities leaking in from parallel universes…weird, strange, ■■■■, huh? All according to many worlds theory of quantum mechanics. I just want to be left alone and live till I’m 90 or 100…

There’s really no help for people like me. That’s why I come to this forum to chat and get some therapy because nothing else works for me. This website is great sometimes!

I just find it all odd because I believe in the Illuminati, aliens, and believe time travel was involved.

I get super soldier thoughts too. It’s like being an alien, trans-humanist Manchurian candidate but with time travel involved (forwards and backwards in time), consciousness/soul transfer, mind uploading, and memory loss. Stuff like that. I got paranoia, disability, etc. I feel like my life was ruined and destroyed like the “power elites” or people in control of time travel changed my past and put a micro-chip in my head when I was a child and took my sentience away. Not sure if Freemasons or US Army, but these are just random thoughts I have been getting. Not every thought is important or good to talk about, but it’s how I’ve been feeling for pretty much eternity. The feeling of quasi immortality and looping back in time is all to real. I always have insanity along with it.

It’s a never ending race to try and get fixed of psychosis and live a meaningful and positive life. To be productive and happy.

I cannot remember my life before August 27th 2011 (21ish years old). I have the scars and stuff from growing up and remember them so maybe I’m not a clone…unless they got me young…but I keep coming back alive in a time loop/causal loop after that date as a schizophrenic. According to time travel lore, nothing changes before you come back, only after. Makes sense. My mind and brain was fractured in two parts. Part of me wants to get help, get my story out, and get the other part of my mind healed and uncovered. To remember the trauma and what they did to me. I think I was severely tortured and then released back into society. I just want to know the truth. Do I even have schizophrenia? Because I don’t hallucinate or hear voices? I have no motivation and I do have irrational and bizarre/unusual thoughts. I have IQ loss too.

I wouldn’t even be saying this stuff if it didn’t happen, but it did happen, and it always (did) happen. I mean my past never changes so these people responsible for doing this to me are not only complete psychopaths to do this to a human being, but never stop, and always get away with it.

In the grand scheme of things I don’t matter. I’m just a number and a statistic. I sometimes don’t even know if I’m from this planet or world sometimes. That’s how it feels.

I even have thoughts of Mars and the Secret Space Program and stuff. I’ve talked about all this stuff before. Money, benefits, and stuff would be nice, but we all know I don’t want it, it ain’t going to happen, and it’s not a good idea to even entertain such ideas. I need to learn to let go better and more. Most people ‘involved’ in SSP/Super Soldier stuff don’t get money and know that. They want it though. They want recognition and help. It’s basically slavery.

My life is okay right now. I’m doing good. Hope to continue to enjoy life for what I have going on right now.

Thank you.

Yes I’ve got depersonalisation. It’s functioning right now even. I can’t be myself on this forum because I am anxious here.

1 Like