My mother had me washing dishes when I was 4. sheeeesh.
Both of my parents have been all kinds of dysfunctional, each in their own ways. I don’t think my mother is mentally ill, though, just a very high functioning malignant narcissist with some unresolved emotional/trauma issues. My father was a low-functioning sociopath who also experienced psychosis and was a severe alcoholic.
I sometimes wonder though because my younger brother has turned out fantastically (very smart, very high functioning, happy marriage, college degree, high paying jobs, friends, hobbies, etc) but we both grew up in the exact same environment. So it makes me wonder how much of it was really me in terms of having problems. Or my brother just has borderline superhuman psychological resilience, I don’t know.
It’s the same with my sister and myself. My doc told me it is because, emotionally, we had a different set of parents.
I totally feel you on that. My brother was the golden child, I was the scapegoat. It really is like having two different sets, one for each child.
What is the age difference between you and your sister, @chordy?..
The parents of the first born could have been struggling. By the time the second or third came along, things might have gotten better. So yeah, sometimes the same parents can be very different to each child depending on family circumstances.
she’s 20 months older.
My mother-in-law only likes children when they’re old enough to drink a martini…
She really did a number on my wife. I had to de-program hon when I met her. It took about 3 years to gain her full trust…but well worth it.
My mom loved me, imperfectly but she did. But she would often say to me “I never wanted all these kids”. I’m the last of seven.
Am I the only one who thinks four is a reasonable age to start washing dishes?
I think it depends a great deal on the context and the details of the situation.
There is a big difference between
- Helping mommy do the cleaning, as a bonding and learning experience
- Being expected to take care of household cleaning at age 4
Mine was a dirty, useless hippie, so, yes.
How one can be a pediatric nurse and also be against vaccinations is a special kind of stupid.
I don’t miss her.
My mother had no ideas her head at all.
r u sure she is your biological mom?
My mom was also a schitzophrenic. She had delusions that she was a the holy descendent of jesus and an aztec god/ruler. When i was 5 she taught me how to throw knives and told me to have at least a few on me at all times, even at school, because im a holy descendent too. She said people would come for me because i had the power to speak from god and tell people what not to do, and people didn’t want to hear that. I didn’t break the knife carrying habit till about 15.
The reason for matrilineal descent in many societies is because it is so easy to prove that the mother was the biological mother.
My parents have a dysfunctional relationship. But that’s between them. They raised me well, I have no major complaints. They are both healthy and I’m an only child. It must be hard for them to witness my struggle.
Yes…I woke up this morning knowing my father was even worse. No wonder I only wanted to be alone.