OK, I had the terrible fear today of regressing… it was so physical, so painful, that I can’t imagine it worse…
I worry till hell too still, I react very badly still to problems and dramas. I am the kind to avoid them now, in a passive way, but my mother is very good at throwing them to me still… I even sometimes still help her, but I am still paranoid from seeing other people, so this can be hell… I get my somatic disorder then, fear till death so the pain from it too. Oh yeap, the fear hurts… my legs even become like jelly, with inner sensations in them because of the fear…
Can I regress though even more if on meds? Sometimes the fear disappears on the next day till the evening, but I am turning more “real” now and I start to see all the problems and they are a lot…
Did you have the same fear, to regress, but it never happened though? I also tell to myself, that the pain should stop one day lol… it was too deeply buried in me before, this was a mistake. Now I act on it but I’ll need time still to heal on that, cause it was way too deeply buried in me before, plus my life is bad now…
Maybe I have bpd as well as the sz… the conversion disorder is sure too for me now 
Is this kind of fear of regressing just a big liar though? I can’t imagine worse than be stuck on the couch, believing that you are dying from sz…
I wish I’d hope, that only my fear is my problem…
Lie to me pls if necessary… tell me, that only my fear governs my mind and that there’s no reason that it’ll get worse… I am a very scared person still in general…
Regression is a defence.
My ex regressed a lot and I helped her to cure it. She was afraid of it too, to begin with. We had to defuse the fear first, and allow the regression to happen peacefully. This allowed us to discuss the regression afterwards, without re-traumatising her or triggering a repeat episode. By talking about it, we could trace back the thoughts during and after, to identify triggers. In my ex’s case, it was ‘feeling like she had done something wrong’ that triggered the regression. We also identified and named the stages of pre-regression, such as feeling ‘drifty’ or ‘morphy’. Whenever she felt these, we would put aside thoughts and conversations and de-activate her amygdala by engaging her cortex. Several methods proved effective, for ‘morphy’ was ‘where’s Wally/Waldo’ books, and for ‘drifty’ I would ask her easy quiz questions. “Name an animal beginning with A” or “Name a US State beginning with M”. The ‘five things’ excercise, should also work; noticing what you can see, smell, touch, taste, and hear.
After about 50 regressions working on this together, she was able to confront the triggers without regressing, which allowed her to work on them in therapy.
Oh, am glad you helped your gf 
did you understand that by regression, I meant mainly worsening of my state and to drown into fear about everything? My mother occupies me a lot with many problems tbh and even expects, that I deal with some now, of which I am incapable still … I even help her now more than I should tbh… my mother is quite old, quite sick too and even my healthy sister avoids her, cause too overwhelming. Me, I have no choice still, I can’t do it without her help still…
OK, the good news is that I have one online friend, who also tries to heal my illness, so I have this talk therapy too. But even he gets impatient now I find, that I still do few…
But I was alone today, I still don’t want to talk much about my fears of worsening or dying, cause once he said, that I sound like dying…
Anyway, it can’t get worse, I am on zyprexa still, it’s maybe just my fear? I am always worse in the evenings tbh, idk why… maybe the fatigue of the struggle in the day. I even still have this rushing mind, who wants from me to act as a normie, but I start to accept to be out of the matrix a bit more though, yeah… I hope that this new fear of worsening is just fear, no?
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