For me In high school I always wanted to be a sports statistician. After my dreams of being in the mlb were ended freshman year of hs I wanted to work for espn and be a basketball statistician. I tried really hard in High school to get my gpa up. I got an A+ in statistics class for the year and was the statistician for the girls basketball team suggested by the teams coach also my guidance counselor. I wanted to go to university of Connecticut but I got deferred and that was kinda what lead me to trying pot. I’d try it eventually but I lost a lot of hope when I didn’t get in. I had a lot of heartbreak and that was the final straw I stopped caring after that for a while and lost my judgement.
But now I’m thinking. I wonder if there’s anyway I can get back into math and statistics. Maybe I’ll take an online class on coursera and see what I think. I like the idea of statistics. I became too insecure at one point. Some girl in community service I had a crush on made fun of me for being good at math. And I became real insecure and pretended to be dumber than I really am after that. But now my brain is cognitively what it was in terms of my maths skills possibly albeit probably rusty but I think I wanna try to get back into it.
I think she just thought she was cool. She said “how much time do we have?” And I said “47 minutes” very fast. And she said “what are you a mathematician or something”. She thought she was cool cuz she was a wealthy 17 year old rebellious kid. Too kool for school. Just “I’m gonna do art”. Which is ok and all. But I thought she was attractive. And she influenced me a lot. And I wanted to be like her. Because I had no identity myself
Nice that you want to get back to it. Do! Dont fear…you can do it.
I didnt know what i wanted to be. I thought of studying medicine, but didnt do the right courses for that in highschool. At first i also wanted to be a fighter pilot, until i realised they actually drop bombs. On people. Not just do fun flying around. History and anthropology also attracted me, but i had no clue what i was going to be then…since there are hardly jobs in those fields.
I wanted to be an artist. I managed to qualify as a graphic designer and worked as one for a while, but my cognitives are to bad to do that now. I work in a supermarket part time these days. Much less stressful.
I wanted to be a pilot so I could become an astronaut. Got the pilot gig and then got sick so astronaut will never happen. Wasn’t smart enough for that anyway. And NASA doesn’t have spaceships anymore so that poses a problem.
I wanted to be a lecturer at an Israeli institution of tertiary education, preferably the Hebrew University
of Jerusalem.
I still think it’s a great job, but it’s out of reach for me now.
My main achievements now are in the realm of physical fitness.
I had a dream to become musician,because I was good in my lessons,and my guitar professor wanted me to study Musical Academy.But my parents came into the way,saying I may study something more beneficial,like law or economics.
My first choice was General Literature and Theory.I didn’t manage well,because I was mathematician mind,not reading or language skills.Then first psychotic break.
Two years later Economics,and also started going to hairdressing saloon where I had good skills and learned fast.Slowly I progressed as hairstylist and became member of Hairdressers Union in Belgrade.Did some seminars there.Earned degree of Master and started doing in famous saloons in city.Psychosis from over working and girlfriend relationship.Dropped Economics.
Three years of psychosis,then hospital.when I came out of hospital,I opened my own workshop.It lasted several years,and continued working as hairdresser until I’ve couldn’t at age of 35.Then I had commission for disability and got one.
My advice:do whatever you find your self successful at.
I had a dream, but I think it was heavily influenced by my parents. I wanted to be a doctor, specifically a psychiatrist. I wanted to be the very best, too. Then I started going down hill and got sick in my third year of medical school. I have now lost my dream and all I want to do is keep my job in data entry and make the little bit of money to pay for my car, my bills, and eating out now and then.
Not only do I lack a dream but also I lack any ambitions for the future. I dread the future when I will retire and be bored all the time.
If I have any dream it is to be a good patient and serve in that capacity.
I have dream to open a civil engineering consultant firm. Completed my graduation
degree after my psychotic 22 years ago. Doing jobs after that. But now i require master degree so to open the consultant company.
I wanted to be a professor and teach an English course. I decided to take a couple years off of college and ended up becoming podromal… then my ability to study and perform took a hit when I got sza, which kind of makes it hard to try and go back. I might try someday, who knows. I need to move first so I’m just waiting on that to work out.
I wanted to go to the University of Sciences in Philadelphia. I had big goals to do research but cognitive symptoms flared up junior and senior year of high school where I almost failed out. I couldn’t read, do math like I used to, or chemistry. I still feel like I learn on a high school level. I also read very slow, and get distracted very easily. I did college through the grace of God in a small school. I tried research and it was complicated. the professor gave me a gimme grade, I couldn’t be in the lab by myself, I wouldn’t know the first thing on what steps to take. That’s what finally told me, no this isn’t your right field. The girl that helped with research said her sister has sza so she knew my struggles, she pretty much did all my work.
I thought I would be set if I learned computer programming and got a job in a big corporation. Unfortunately I picked a corporation that did a lot of military work and I got pretty spooked after my first training and ended up with my first hospitalization. Some people in my family still think someone might have slipped me something but I am pretty sure my mental illness had been brewing up for some time before that.
History and anthropology also attracted me, but i had no clue what i was going to be then…since there are hardly jobs in those fields.