Did you ever underestimate yourself?

As a teenager I took the lowest job in the kitchens I worked in, dishwasher, also the hardest job in the kitchen. All my dishwasher jobs had me prep cook when there were no dirty dishes. It is valuable experience howbeit short.

Restaurant work is better than office work. I liked the comraderie.

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Yeah, I was in a day program for a year and one day a counselor walked up to me with an ad she clipped out of the newspaper. This company was looking for a park ranger and she thought I could do it. I told her I had no experience and it was too good of a job for me and I didn’t think I could do it. But the ad said ‘no experience necessary’ and the counselor thought I should try. So I applied, got an interview and got hired and the next thing you know I’m riding around in a company truck with my uniform on and a walk-talki strapped to my side. I did that job two years and had some interesting experiences.

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I have the opposite problem. I take on more than i can handle and drive myself crazy. My boyfriend calls it self sabotaging. I think i just want to deny my limitations and live like everyone else but i cant.

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I think I’m far more likely to fail at things than succeed at them.

I always hated fast food work. I’m just to slow to keep up. I hauled hay in high school, though. This was back when they had these square bales that were supposed to weigh 65 lbs. a piece. The first day I hauled hay the guy with me on the back of the truck was drinking two 16 oz. bottles of ice water after every load, so I did the same. Then I started getting this horrible, washed out feeling that really sucked. I was thinking that hauling hay was bad. Then the next day I realized my mistake, and I just drank one cup of ice water after every load, and I didn’t get that horrible feeling anymore. After that, hauling hay was a snap for me. That just goes to show you how different people’s systems can be. One person’s medicine is another person’s poison. But hauling hay is very hot, dirty work. You do it in the summer, where the heat is always close to 100 degrees. You sweat a lot, and all this dirt and debris collects on the shelf we took the bales from. If a breeze came along it would blow all this debris off the shelf, and it would stick to the sweat covering your body. Then, when you are stacking the hay in the barn the air is full of dust and debris, and more of it sticks to your sweaty body. You inhale some of the debris into your nose, so that when you pick your nose afterwards you get these little chunks of hay mashed together with your snot. It’s not bad, though. I would much rather work hauling hay than working fast food. But I tell you, there is one job that is much harder than hauling hay. It’s not hot and dirty, it is very cold and dangerous. I sometimes watch a series on tv about it. Anyway, this job is fishing for crab near Alaska in the Bering Sea. There are so many dire dangers on those crab fishing boats. I won’t go into specifics, but it looks like very dangerous, harrowing work to me. I probably couldn’t do it, because my dexterity is so bad. I’d mess up on so many things on those crab boats. I could probably lift heavy boxes of frozen fish in the hold of a giant fishing boat, but I can’t do that because of the way my body can’t take any extremes of temperature because of the med’s we have to take. Working on an oil rig is also a hard, dangerous job. It doesn’t matter that much, because all that kind of work has gone away. I also probably couldn’t do it because of my poor dexterity.

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I tend to overestimate myself and it’s gotten me into lots of stressful situations. Like now, idk if I can go on with my job. But I never signed up for disability because I thought I could handle working. Boy was I wrong.

I haven’t really worked since getting diagnosed and put on meds.

Otherwise I was a good manual labor. I did hard labor in order picking but got good enough to move to machines/forklifts. I got good enough in vehicle accessory fitting to learn to use tools effectively.

I was a good worker but I got slowed down on the meds but still had a little highlight with working retail in a bookstore…So…No. I was confident in my abilities and I could do manual work and do it well…the meds really cruelled that but no regrets moving sideways and getting on disability.

All the time, my whole life. I’m never good enough, in my mind.