That leads to the question why not me?
But still havn’ t got a satisfactory answer. Just facing the fact its me with sz and deal with it.
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Things could be worse.
I try be grateful that im not blind !!
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It seems i am strong enough, cause somehow my parents/chilhood prepared me for my fate. We are pioneers of mindstudies. We are not going boldly outside the universe but inside.
Part of me still struggle with chosen one delusions. I’ve delt with the why me question many times. The only logical reason I’ve found is just pure luck. Bad luck that we have this, good luck that we are higher functioning than some.
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“Why me?” and “Why not me?” are loaded questions. Why not me - winning the lottery, getting bone cancer, having a movie star wife, losing my livelihood. Why me - not winning the lottery, getting bone cancer, having a movie star wife, losing my livelihood.
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Thinking who chose me?
I struggle with the chosen one belief a lot still and my only justification is that you are all fake and so is the world. I’m all that’s real. That’s where I’m at 
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When I was being abused I often asked why me. I just wanted to be happy.
When my delusions came and told me I was a chosen one it was a bit of a relief cause at least my suffering had meaning.
I still wondered why but I was much more at peace with it.
Now days I wonder why but I try not to let it eat at me.
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Solipsism, the only consciousness that can be truely proven is just ones own, so it’s theoretically possible that the world is just a creation of your own mind.
I understand those feelings very well. Part of me still isn’t sure this life is just a test designed just for me.
Luck that I can fight to keep that at bay for the most part
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I moreso think my life is a simulation. Like we were in a future world that was either boring or just not fulfilling enough. So they created a technology or something where we live in this world. And maybe we do these multiple times in our lifetime. Living a simulated life. So like we’re practically immortal living all these lives. I just don’t think god is capable of some of the coincidences and phenomena that I’ve seen…
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That’s rough man, my condolences. If it helps, I believe I’m real, and I believe you’re real.
Mine tend to take on a religious tone
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My mate mentioned saying we are just robots. I think that sometimes.
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I tend to think you’re programmed to say that lollll but thanks and you seem real enough that I wouldn’t doubt it.
I just don’t believe god can be omnipotent. I believe god created the universe and everything else happened on its own . But on EARTH or in this UNIVERSE, it seems there is a control 
that would be impossible in the “original world”. Lol.
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Yeah I once had the belief I was an alien from
A far away planet and everything on earth was a robot and I was supposed to return to my home planet dec 21 2012
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I believe I’m going to have a second caramel macchiato and unpack some more boxes.
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I ask myself “why me” all the time. And when I visit my nurse or my psychiatrist I feel like I am only one more patient for them and this is the only thing I don’t like when I go to visit them.
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i ask this a lot and it is a toughie so my explanation might be hard to grasp,
i think it is a test, some people get shat on and its all about how we deal with it that is the main thing, we have to be strong in the face of adversity, do our best,
do what we can when we can
i also think it is an attack, i feel that i developed this illness bc i was weak in mind and spirit and i was attacked spiritually bc of that so i try and turn that on its head and become stronger mentally,
my faith helps me a lot although i know some people dont like that but it helps me and so does my daily dose of medication
take care
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Pfffffffffffffffft. Let’s ignore things like genetics and possible viral or environmental triggers.
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I just was so not expecting this. I barely knew what sza was since the psychosis in family was so secretive. Yes I did linger on this thought why me. Fortunately now it doesn’t pop up as much.