Did you (do you) want to grow up?

I know I did not have a conscious desire to grow up. That is sad because I think reaching maturity is well worth working for. No role models appeared = only fears that I would never grow up - no guidance. I was lost.

Like 60/40. 60% mature 40% kid.

At the point I’m at. I would like to have a more well balanced personality and sense of self. Something that only comes with experiences that shape you or make you.

I wanted to grow up. All I wanted to happen is to stop being abused and bullied. Life was horrible.