See how long this lasts -
Religion -■■■■ happens
Taoism: ■■■■ happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, “■■■■ happens.”
Buddhism: If ■■■■ happens, it isn’t really ■■■■.
Zen Buddhism: ■■■■ is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of ■■■■ happening?
Hinduism: This ■■■■ has happened before.
Islam: If ■■■■ happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If ■■■■ happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If ■■■■ happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If ■■■■ happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let ■■■■ happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This ■■■■ was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It’s not so bad if ■■■■ happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It’s not so bad if ■■■■ happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: ■■■■ that happens to one person is just as good as ■■■■ that happens to another.
Unitarian: ■■■■ that happens to one person is just as bad as ■■■■ that happens to another.
Lutheran: If ■■■■ happens, don’t talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If ■■■■ happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If ■■■■ happens to a televangelist, it’s okay.
Fundamentalism #3: ■■■■ must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this ■■■■ always happen to us?
Calvinism: ■■■■ happens because you don’t work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No ■■■■ shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all ■■■■.
Secular Humanism: ■■■■ evolves.
Christian Science: When ■■■■ happens, don’t call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: ■■■■ happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ■■■■.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this ■■■■.
Utopianism: This ■■■■ does not stink.
Darwinism: This ■■■■ was once food.
Capitalism: That’s MY ■■■■.
Communism: It’s everybody’s ■■■■.
Feminism: Men are ■■■■.
Chauvinism: We may be ■■■■, but you can’t live without us…
Commercialism: Let’s package this ■■■■.
Impressionism: From a distance, ■■■■ looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let’s bronze this ■■■■.
Existentialism: ■■■■ doesn’t happen; ■■■■ IS.
Existentialism #2: What is ■■■■, anyway?
Stoicism: This ■■■■ is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good ■■■■ happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this ■■■■.
Mormonism #2: This ■■■■ is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let ■■■■ happen.
Scientology: If ■■■■ happens, see “Dianetics”, p.157.
Jehovah’s Witnesses: >KnockKnock< ■■■■ happens.
Jehovah’s Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ■■■■?
Jehovah’s Witnesses #3: ■■■■ has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy ■■■■ happens.
Hare Krishna: ■■■■ happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this ■■■■!
Zoroastrianism: ■■■■ happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with ■■■■ one day at a time.
Agnostic: ■■■■ might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone ■■■■?
Agnostic #3: What is this ■■■■?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What ■■■■?
Atheism #2: I can’t believe this ■■■■!
Nihilism: No ■■■■.
And of course we must add…Alcoholics Anonymous: ■■■■ happens-one day at a time!
I fall under the “■■■■ might have happened, then again, maybe not” category - Im Agnostic