I was just thinking about the flood of thoughts I was having during psychosis, and recall something. At the time the content of my psychosis was reality based, about sz, but it was paranoid and delusional in that I was thinking sz was something else than a medical issue. I’ve already covered most of the cognitive aspects of the episode in prior posts, but the thing that occurred to me today was I was thinking with a weird method, you know, the thesis, antithesis, synthesis model of reality, but I had my own sz take on it where I was viewing sz as ironic (with the paradoxical laughter included) and it was basically thesis, hypothesis, antithesis, etc. I remember thinking that irony was all in the set up, so that is the hypothesis part. Hypothesis comes from the root meaning foundation, so basically I was thinking that the idea was normality, the hypothesis was (X will occur), the antithesis was basically the way I would defy expectations. So I was thinking grandiose that my actions were disturbing the foundations of society. And quite hilariously too, due to the presence of irony, which for some reason is funny but is sometimes dissonance causing. This was joined with an idea I had about determinants, so basically lying lengthwise in bed is going with determinants and lying crosswise is against determinants. That’s one example but think of the shenanigans of just defying all determinants. This is a clear recollection of my thinking but this was going on in the noise of thought disorder, so none of this would really have been clearly communicated at the time.
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