I had a telehealth appointment with my doctor due to his office being inaccessible.
He says that if I can heighten my low self-esteem and reduce negativity, my psychotic symptoms will get a lot better over time.
It’s so difficult to heighten my self-esteem right now, unfortunately, but I’m going to try.
He says to keep away from the news and I’m not one of those people who would do bad things to others, so he told me to not reflect those people’s behaviours onto mine.
I also confided that I wanted to kill myself, which I thought it would land me to the hospital. But instead he gave me some work to do with my self-esteem and gave me some suggestions on how to improve my self-esteem. I also confided that I had delusions of martyrdom and worries about my friends. He told me that happens in psychosis and keep working on my self-esteem and reducing negativity in me.
So, overall, it was a good session and I increased my dose to 20mg of blonanserin and effexor. He also believes that I do not have bipolar subtype of schizoaffective, but rather a combination of depression and “normal, healthy mood”. So for now, it seems like I have schizoaffective disorder depressive subtype or psychotic depression.
He also said that I am quite high functioning and he has been questioning my schizophrenia diagnosis, which he may change in the future depending on the severity of my symptoms. He now believes I have psychotic depression. To be honest a diagnosis label doesn’t matter as much to me.
So yeah, that’s it! Wanted to update you guys.