again I am feeling so at a loss for hope in my life, in any substantial or lasting way. I am feeling I cannot even trust my therapist, and this makes me feel horrible. I was seeing a therapist for three years and after lots of frustration I decided to embark on finding a better match. I was really beginning to trust my new therapist (who I have been seeing for about four months), but now I feel like she doesn’t understand or respect my experience. what happens to me is mainly paranoia (much better now than it was a few years ago though) and social anxiety. but the worst is that I feel I can hear other people’s thoughts out loud and they are always terrible, horrible thoughts about me. it’s not like esp or telepathy, it’s just this horrible phenomenon I can’t seem to get rid of. usually I try to just distract myself as much as possible but it is such a huge problem in my daily life. urgh getting so exhausted.
my motto is trust my own intuition about my “illness” and take appropriate defences and figure out how it works. Its sound, sound needs an amplifier and atmosphere and transducer. Knowing this im winning.
Have you tried copingtutor.com? I haven’t yet but others here have mentioned it. There is a free trial option. Let me know if you try it out and if it worked for you. Hang in there.
I surpassed this feeling when I learned body language, you can tell if a person is being positive or negative, you can then negate the feeling of those bad thoughts your having by this technique…I only freak out on the chat, where I can’t see and analyze the person who I’m talking too, I end up sometimes getting the wrong meaning and argue over the internet, then get on a fight…
thanks for your response. I am trying always to find better ways to stay calm and not freak out. but when I am at work or at the grocery store, or with friends, (and especially family) the loud thoughts are so intrusive, I get so emotional and freaked out. the best way lately I have found to combat the horrible phenomenon is to get up early (force myself up) on weekdays (sleep in on weekends) and go meditate. it makes me feel clearer. I still hear the voices, but I deal with them better.
hi thanks for your response! it is good to connect with others on this site… I do think I have a difficult time understanding things like body language and tone of voice. I always assume the worst and the thoughts get so loud it is hard to reason with them or get calm and not emotional. I get so emotional I want to cry and often this happens in public… I will try to be more objective in seeing other’s body language and mannerisms. thanks for your note!
hi! no, I have not heard of copingtutor.com but I will look into it… if I think it’s good I will post to you! thanks so much for your response!! best wishes to you!
I know that psychosis is hard to reason with, but I have noticed that the brain get trained with time by the stuff we train it to do…it took time for me to reason with it but I don’t have that feeling anymore except in chatting lol
I even had my psychosis decreased lately by trying to train it how response in psychotic episodes, I didn’t had an episode since two weeks and a half, before that I had one each day since my relapse…I hope you can find your own ways to surpass the bad thoughts…good luck blueworld
hey alex~ thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words! I am glad you have had success in “retraining” your brain! I really think that we can work with the cognitive parts of ourselves to learn how to better accept our situations and to get through psychotic episodes or thought disorder symptoms. continued luck and best wishes to you!!