I’m having a bad day. Not sure if it’s because I took 4 sleeping pills two nights ago because I’m on my second day feeling like life is meaningless. I might never recover enough to work. I don’t know whenever I’m in a closed room I just turn to dark thoughts. I feel like there’s nothing to look forward to.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so hopeless right now. Did you take that many sleeping pills to hurt yourself, or just because you were trying to sleep? Either way, that is very dangerous behavior. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. You’re such a caring person.
Things have looked bleak for me, too. Four years ago, I was homeless and none of my family was speaking to me. I was stuck in rural Oklahoma with no hope of ever escaping. Or so I thought. But things actually did improve, slowly. And then they got worse again, and then better, then worse, then better. Life is a wild roller coaster of ups and downs. That is even more true for people like us. But you didn’t always feel this way, and you won’t feel this way forever. It’s only been two days. Try to remember that. Hopelessness is a feeling, and it will come and go like any other feeling, sometimes for no apparent reason. Lean on your support system for now, and wait for the feeling to pass. I guarantee it will.