Schizophrenia.com

Denial maybe

• I am a 24 year old male who up until around a year ago had had to deal with bipolar 1. Just after I turned 23 began hearing voices. About a month later strong powerful feelings of paranoia began. I ended up being committed to the psych ward by the cops for the 7th time. My diagnosis was upgraded to bipolar 1 with psychosis. These feelings rule my everyday life and routine. I sometimes don’t know if it’s my mind playing tricks on me. I mean I do know it is but it’s so real. everywhere I go it feels like people are trying to get me. Or everyday at work when I see my co-workers talking if they look at me all of a sudden I can hear them saying God awful things and taunting me. I try and tell myself the world does.not revolve around me One time I almost slipped in grease a coincidence it most likely was but my feelings are telling me I’m not safe there. I swear they have cameras in the food freezer just to get me and laugh. Sometimes at home with my family who are very loving and good people I’ll feel like there recording me and ■■■■■■ with me. Nowhere seems private or safe anymore I’ve used God knows how many gallons of wall patch trying to keep my privacy but still it seems no matter what I’m being watched. My thoughts are always being spoken out loud in 3rd person and they are being said by 2 people. Who the voices sound like depends on my environment I used to confront my friends and family about the tricks and spying I mostly know isn’t real but i kinda think that they are really ■■■■■■ with me by knowing I know they’re watching me and theyre laughing at me being unable to stop them. I stopped confronting people about these voices out of fear of further social destruction. I used to be a very social and popular guy. Now days I prefer to be alone. On some days especially.stressful ones I can’t enjoy TV or music anymore because I can hear my thoughts on most electronics I’m serious. If I’m feeling a certain way the music talks to me. My psychiatrist believes this is still.bipolar and it’s just the psychosis. But I’m afraid to tell him what’s really going on I’m afraid he’ll commit me and I’ll lose my job. This was typed quickly on my phone it may be lacking in detail and ect . also I think they installed an app and watch me through my phone. please can I get some advice. Am i just going through a stressful time of life? After web searching my voices I found this site. What is wrong with me
Is schizophrenia possible it seems like I just can’t believe I’m schizophrenic no

Psychosis is not that uncommon in bipolar I, and the treatment is basically the same so I wouldn’t worry about the label as much.

You should definitely talk to your psychiatrist about what’s happening to you, they’ll only hospitalize you if you’re a danger to yourself or others so I woulnd’t worry about that.

There is no way someone is survailling you, who cares about what we do? Our lives are too boring :slight_smile:

Talk to your treatment team, they can help you.

Welcome to the forum.