That’s not what insight is. If you had insight into your illness you would recognize that you’re having religious deposits and work to get through them. But that’s not what you’re doing. You won’t even admit it’s part of your illness.
I know it’s not what your want to hear, but a lot of people with sz have to give up their religion, or at the very least distance themselves from it, because it makes them more sick. Which is exactly what is happening with you.
As I said before admit that its not real and not respond to it. If you start responding to it, talk about this with your doctor or parents they will again give you forced shots as these seem illogical and not practical to have. Demons and evil forces are there but it won’t come physically like you thinking instead it can come in form of thoughts and you need to not respond to such thoughts if you really want to fight it.
Interesting topic. I can relate somewhat to what Crystal is saying.
Two years ago I was in a bad situation and about to be evicted from my apartment. I had been praying a lot for help and guidance and that morning I woke up I heard a voice say, “be self-sufficient, love everyone”. That’s the one and only time I heard a voice that was positive (and if it really wanted to help me).
Since then the only voices I hear are yes, no, and hmmm. Very evil sounding but that’s all they say.
But what’s been bad is the other stuff that happens in my apt. One night a knife was thrown across the kitchen (with force so I know it didn’t just fall). Another night when I was working from home the computer screen started jumping and the mouse pointer flying all over the screen. This only happened when I tried to type something or do my work. Also the same kind of stuff happens with my phone, especially when I am listening to religious music.
But what’s been really interesting about all of this is when I take my medication, the three things the voices say get very low or just go away, and none of the other crazy stuff with my computer happens. So go figure. I don’t know what to make of it