Hello I’m new to this forum , I wanted to make my first post on some matters I need advice with. Maybe someone relates?
So for a good bit of my life I have struggled with delusions, although I didn’t come to realize this until recently. I used to whole heartedly believe things like that other could read my mind, government was watching me because I wasnt human, I thought I was a “shifter” or various other things. Since I would experience weird sensations and my sense of smell is more sensitive so that sort of helped me “rationalize” my beliefs of being not human. Now I know I am, but back then I didn’t. Of course I still struggle with the thinking but I try and keep an eye on my thoughts.
I stopped believing in alot of stuff once my sister had a psychotic break that was induced by her drug use - this kinda shocked me to reality for awhile, but I still struggle just not as much. My sister and I used to believe alot of the same stuff, and we would talk alot or “share information”…but once she had the episode that scared even me, i couldn’t talk to her and that seemed to help me alittle
Recently I’ve been feeling weird sensations, from feeling water dripping on my skin or a pool of water/liquid on my head. To more “sexual” sensations (although I still believe the sexual ones have external sources and they don’t cause me any sort of distress).
For example, this seems to happen mostly when I’m in my bed. I’ll feel touches (very light, sometimes it’s just pressure that feels like skin against mine, or warmth/vibrations) on my chest, groin, stomach, etc. I’ll also feel “weight” on the bed with me, usually to the side or on me directly. Like someone/something is with me. It’s hard to describe but I mostly seem to feel the touches through the blankets or my mattress/pillow. If I’m moving around or not in bed, I don’t feel them/her. If I am in bed, I’ll immediately feel them/her with me. (There’s also a bit of a presence to her/them).
To try and better explain the sensations, I’ll feel like the blankets on my bed are moving (like micro movements) to “her” movements, and it’s like through the blankets she’ll touch me or something. When the blankets are on me, there will be areas where there’s more pressure and the blankets/her will radiate warmth and the softeness/texture you’d feel of human skin…then I’ll feel the vibrations/etc that will sorta “arouse” me. It doesn’t usually bother me but sometimes does, especially when I’m trying to sleep
I’ll feel “her” presence with me alot of the day, no matter where I am. However I don’t feel the actual touches/etc Unless I’m in bed…(only rarely will I feel a touch outside of my bed) ---- for the most part, her presence to me is very comforting/loving. Never aggressive
I didn’t start feeling the touches, presence/etc until about a year ago. Before then it was mostly just my beliefs and other things. However I wanted to know if anyone experiences anything like this? Advice?