I’ve been having some obsessive thoughts and I wonder if they might be bordering into delusion territory.
I’ve had a thought for months now that my blood and organs are somehow important. That they might save the life of someone I care about.
It started when a friend was told they might need a kidney transplant, and kept going when I learned a family member has cancer in multiple bodyparts.
I keep diving down wikipedia and google rabbitholes to learn about bloodtypes.
This family member has a rare bloodtype, an Rh- one. My type is most likely O, and I’m getting obsessive about finding the cheapest way to determine exactly what my type is, and whether or not I’m O+ or O-.
I find myself hoping I’m O- so I can donate to that family member.
I know they’re most likely not gonna make it anyways. And this is where it’s starting to get delusional.
Sometimes I get these thoughts into my head that there might be enzymes in my blood that could help them fight the cancer. I see signs on my body I interpret as signs that I’ve secretly fought cancer and won without knowing it, and I start thinking I can help them fight it.
Why is this happening?
Is it a delusion or an obsession?
Why can’t I let go?