Death wish without depression

i used to have a strong death wish… but now it’s better for some time already… I don’t really know what changed…

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Sometimes when im stressed i get suicidal thoughts i wanted to throw myself from the hospital building because the voices didnt stop talking.

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I had a death wish early in psychosis. I think it was more wanting to go out fighting, rather than anything else. I expected my voices to jump me around every corner, was armed to go up against them, and fully prepared to die.

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Isn’t it the culmination of a very dissatisfactory life and having no expectations about living? That life is so miserable and pointless that the fact of wanting to live has no charm or curiosity any longer?

Dissociated from the tangible life, perhaps you cannot feel that you have an underlying depression, and you are on ADs so life can become distant and unreal because the emotions you feel are not your authentic ones.

If you were to feel the authentic self perhaps you would be suicidal, hence the need for the ADs, so I’m not a doctor to recommend you get off them.

The death wish is kept at bay, at the price of a fake sense of happiness by the ADs, but the underlying depression is still there at arm’s length.

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@labratmat The odd thing is that there are many things about my life that I like and enjoy. Maybe I’m depressed after all, but my disenchantment with life has less to do with failure or even pain than with loss of faith in the shared world, I can no longer return to my old faith.

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Isn’t that why you are on ADs in the first place? If you loved life you wouldn’t want to even risk death.

Ruminating on what I call trivial matters, such as philosophy which should be for dinner parties and left at that is what shakes you to the core.

Your obviously highly intelligent mind overworking on subjects that cannot be solved, not even by the most famous philosophers in history is tearing you up.

Your OCD tendencies making you unable to let go is no doubt to blame. When people say you think too much, you fit the bill.

I would say address the OCD and get in the real world, maybe with a mundane hobby or job might bring you back to earth. Fill your life with something physical and occupy that mind of yours or it will be the death of you.

I am real and I implore you to ground yourself often, do CBT for your ocd and engage in the world.

Or you could continue making yourself more depressed with your idle ruminations.

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I agree my OCD plays a big role but I should clarify that the reason I’m still taking sertraline is because the unmanageable withdrawal symptoms I get.

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Maybe so, but if you are depressed already and you stop ADs then surely it will get worse?

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Hang in there…I’m going thru something right now, and I can’t seem to make sense of it. Kinda like Sylvia Plath in the bell jar, when everything should feel optimistic, but everything isn’t to her, she feels disconnected/surreal, and we fight with our demons every day. Give yourself a break, healing, not everyone is going to understand us—but the light does come after the storm.

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