I don’t know what to do…Where to start? My deaf sister got diagnosed as a bipolar-schizo around 7 years ago…Anyways, nothing seems to be working at all, medicines, therapy…Absolutely nothing. She’s attempted suicide more times than I can count to the point where receiving news on the phone doesn’t even phase me. Nobody will hire her because she’s deaf and has this on top of it. Her body turns around and rejects medicinal treatment as soon as it’s given to her and she brings down everybody’s quality of life in my family, especially my own mother who told me just now that if the stress continues, she will die from it. She physically hits my mother and destroys her things when she goes off. Having my mom die from the stress of this has been a fear of mine from day one because I have no way of taking care of her due to financial limitations of my own so my sister would be homeless. My mother refuses to talk about putting her in a group home because she is deaf and she would be socially alone, that would break her heart, as she says, and to tell you the truth, I couldn’t live with myself if that happened either.
My last girlfriend of 6 years left me over all of this and now this is now affecting the way I live with my current girlfriend of 6 months, my job, and my everyday outlook on life, I just don’t want to continue on anymore. I’m afraid to have a kid or even talk about it with my girlfriend because I don’t want them to turn out like my sister. I cannot afford to keep my sister, as well as leave my job every time she has an episode, especially since she lives 4 hours from me. That is not a life worth living to me because at that point, I would just be existing, not living. There are absolutely no resources to help, I’ve looked in every deep, dark corner of the internet and nothing. Hospitals take her in and release her the day after with no change in her behavior because they are already overloaded with other people like her.
I’m at a point where I’m just giving up, people don’t care, and why should they? I work at a hospital where I see this every day and don’t want anything to do with psych patients because I’ve got enough stress on my plate as it is. It’s sad to say this because I’m a firefighter too, but this is what I’ve become; a numb shell of my former self and God has made it last too long. I don’t want to do it anymore, I don’t even know why I came to this forum.
Thanks for reading if you did…