Dating an intellectual as a Schizophrenic woman (I'm on invega)

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#1

Have any women on here dated men that are beyond their levels intellectually?

I wouldn’t say that I’m stupid. I was a bright kid and had a craving for knowledge and interesting facts but ever since I’ve been ill (or put on invega specifically) I’ve been experience poverty of though and speech. This makes it harder for me to connect with this man.

I know that I am capable of more in depth conversation but his intellect intimidates me and I shut down when I’m with him. I told him that I suffer from an absence of thought and speech so thats why I might seem timid/low confidence. He seemed to be understanding.

I went on a date with this really nice nurse in the summer and we made a connection the first time but the second time around we went to the museum which felt like an IQ test. I wasn’t able to engage with the exhibits to the degree that he did and I wasn’t having a good time. Needless to say it didn’t progress to a third date.

#2

I think the key point there was that you didn’t have a good time. Instead of focusing on your deficits, maybe this guy is just boring. I wouldn’t enter or maintain a relationship with someone who I’m not comfortable with or who is in such a different space that we’re not likely to connect. You should feel good about yourself and be able to relax and enjoy yourself in a relationship.

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#3

You should know that there really isn’t a standard to live up too. Honestly intellectual folk are rarely satisfied with the intellect of another. It’s all so different in so many ways.

What is disheartening when being around women is when their happiness leaves them and you can tell they are feeling insecure and disappointed and would rather get back to a place that is outside the stimulus that is bringing them there where they feel on top of things. All totally natural.

It’s kind of sad though. Men really do just like being around women because they’re pretty and they want to have sex with them. Women tend to totally dislike that as the undertone of the arrangement. They are worth more than that after all.

Really though I dated a woman who was a graduate with a bachelors in Physics. The roles can be reversed. She liked to taunt me though and totally disregard my opinion and basically my entire outlook on that body of knowledge. It is pretty disrespectful. I get that. Made the process interesting to see how that kind of ■■■■ affected me so I ran with it for a while.

She wasn’t that comprehensive though. Dealing mostly in theory. It was supposed to be a complimentary endeavor to discuss physics with her. We just kept hitting each others thought ceilings… though she was quicker to deny me any chance of knowing what I was talking about.

“Those headlights are flashing… god why are they flashing… they shouldn’t be able to do that… they should get it fixed.”

my response:

“The lights aren’t flashing… the road is irregular and the truck is bobbing up and down… it’s the angle of the lights that occasionally hits your eyes directly through the mirror… seems brighter momentarily.”

that concept seemed to totally escape her and she just wrote it off so she could be master of physics not needing influence. Blegh…

I didn’t mind in the long run. I’d have put up with that for life pleasantly if she had any monogamous intention at all. The abrasion was always quick to pass and immediately curbable just by smiling at her… besides the things she said weren’t all that different than what goes on in my mind.

Still she turned out to look pretty dumb all in all. Basically a drug addict who was trying to be cool at all times… typical early 20s mentality…

getting carried away here.

Just be happy. You don’t have to explain anything if you’re fun to be around and respond to messages. It does help to be open to deeper topics, but you seem to have that down already.

It’s patriachal and mysoginistic… but intelligent men are ridiculously smart. I don’t know many women who can really contend on that level of comprehension. That is blatantly sexist… but I seriously can’t wait for the day I’m proven wrong and a woman like that enters into my life… as a friend or whatever.

It’s probably gonna be that same ■■■■ lol… she’s just gotta grow up and get her fucken head straight and allow herself to see her mistakes instead of just running from them in stubborn defiance… carried away again…

I effing hate this town…

#4

Mr. Star is way smarter than I am, especially after my head injury. We make it work, because he makes me feel comfortable instead of insecure. In the beginning, I was worried about living up to his standards, but eventually I realized his standards for me were much lower than my standards for myself. I was psyching myself out and making myself unnessecarily nervous by having unreasonable expectations.

Once I figured that out, it got much easier to talk to him, because I wasn’t constantly judging everything that came out of my mouth. Do you think you might be doing the same thing to yourself?

If you are suffering from a poverty of speech, maybe you could try typing instead. You don’t seem to have difficulty expressing yourself on here. Typing activates a different part of the brain than speech, so it might be easier. It would also be easier for you to remember what he said, because you could look back and read it.

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#5

I agree with @Hedgehog. I think this is more a matter of you two not clicking and possibly him being boring/unable to sustain a conversation.

If you think it really is about you - intellect performance anxiety or whatever - if you find yourself in conversations that interest you, but you just draw a blank, don’t be afraid to say, “I don’t know a lot about that, but it’s interesting to me. Can you tell me more about x?” Don’t look at it as a contest or a duel - if you are interested in something someone has to say and they’re interested in talking about it, that’s 75% of the conversation right there.

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#6

I think he is just interested in the sex (we had sex on our first date). We met up today and I invited him over to cuddle after coffee and he wanted to have sex even though I told him I was on my period. I said no and he would linger and tell me that my clothes need to come off. He talks a lot and rarely asks me any questions about myself. Today we did connect a bit better as I was able to concentrate but he doesn’t seem like he’s genuinely interested in me except for my body. I’m not really into casual flings to be honest.

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#7

I’d say avoid him/end it.

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#8

He took you to a Museum?!

What’s wrong, was the Morgue closed that day?

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#9

LMAO! With the museum, I was referring to a previous date with another guy during the summer.

I just finished seeing this new guy (the smarty pants) and I don’t feel like he’s interested in anything serious. Like he’s just giving me enough attention so I’ll give in to his requests. Should I text him and end it?

#10

Sounds like the new guy just wants to get in your pants.

I remember my wife said once we couldn’t get frisky because she was on her monthly cycle, to which I replied…

“Hey! I don’t mind ketchup on my hot dog!”

She thought that was hilarious. :wink:

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#11

There’s nothing wrong with a guy or a girl just wanting sex… but if you want more than that then time to move on.

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#12

that’s gross p… I’m disgusted… but I’mma match your bet and raise…

when the red river flows… take the muddy back roads ;0

(two likes and not a one was patrick…)

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#13

Don’t think everyone is looking for an intellectual equal. I would try not to be intimated by someone’s intelligence, there are more important things.

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#14

Try and up your own intellectual game or find something else you excel in. Maybe you are good at social things and making friends, accentuate that thing which you are good at. Maybe you have good hobbies/lifestyle habits, maybe you have interesting ideas about life and like to share them with people. Maybe you are an athlete, whatever it is make that sort of your calling card. This guy seems to be showing off his intelligence as much as he can, well you also have things which make you stand out. Make the most of what you’ve got and try and be on his level.

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#15

Definitely end it hon. If you’re asking the question about intellectual conversation and he just wants sex, you’re both looking for different things. If you would lose respect for yourself just having the relationship for sex, then it isn’t the relationship (or lack of) for you. Stick to your own standards lovely lady, we teach people how to treat us based on how we let them treat us.

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