Craving the hospital

I find myself longing for the relative safety of the hospital. Maybe it’s the routine. Maybe it’s the structure, the groups, the schedule. I don’t know. But I’m not sick or suicidal. Just missing a component of it. Maybe it’s the absolute absence of responsibility, all the decision making is taken out of your hands, you’re just going to do x, and that’s all there is to it.


I always feel I need to go to hospital until I am actually very psychotic, then I think everyone is trying to trick me into going. I have hated all my hospital trips. I’m normally very far gone and feel trapped while thinking they are going to kill me.

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It is paradoxically sort of like a vacation from responsibility. But the responsibilities are always there waiting for you when you get out, and they have usually gotten worse while you were ignoring them in the hospital.

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I was always so relieved not to have ant responsibilities, even though uncomfortable accomadations

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Yes, a quick break, while you lose your mind for a minute and regroup to take it all on

wishes he knew what to say

I think I understand the feeling. Sometimes I just want time to stop, to let me take a few day-weeks-millennia to just decompress, sort myself out, and come back to it fresh. Without the world moving around me.

It’s a feeling I haven’t shaken completely, but it does wane.

I wish I had an answer leaf, But all I can offer is a llama hug.

:llama: :hugs:

Stay safe my friend.


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