When I first got sza I wanted to learn so I read all about symptoms in psych books. Then I saw more symptoms in me. But was it possible that I mistook them and never had them but pretended I did? If I did it was a pretty big lie…
I’m scared I dug my own pit very deep and now I can’t get out. I made myself get sza and I could have maybe not had it, if I didn’t read those books…
Now I’m wondering if it’s too late to go off meds because I created my own lie…
Scary thought!
not likely.
I had 0 insight with my first major psychosis. had no idea anything was wrong even when things got really insane.
Well, it’s impossible for a bunch of internet strangers to know what’s in your mind. Have you had experiences with hypochondria before?
That’s like saying that me reading books about normal people with no symptoms will make me have no symptoms. Nothing I’ve tried has gotten rid of the voices and other stuff (though meds reduce their intensity). It doesn’t work that way, as far as I know. Don’t go off the meds without the doctor’s advice on whether you should, and on how you should scale back.
I felt the opposite - that I was faking being normal.
Before I ever had a psychosis, I read about schizophrenia and its subtypes in the ICD-9 (IIRC), and I figured I might have Simple Schizophrenia… I was just schizoid; schizophrenia is a more severe condition, which is why I doubt I have it.
-Albert.
I’ve felt that way sometimes in the past when I wasn’t well. Especially when I was having really bad anxiety, I didn’t want to tell anyone and tried to appear normal.
I really don’t think you faked anything. Just because you educated yourself doesn’t mean you faked the symptoms. Education is important because it helps give you insight into what’s your illness and what’s real.
I doubt schizophrenia is different than schizoid.its the same thing.lol.you people on this forum are funny.
It doesn’t work like that. You may think you created your schizophrenia but it’s not true. You have a diagnosable illness that has affected you for years. I’ve been reading your posts for years; it’s impossible that you caused all those delusions and symptoms you’ve suffered. Impossible. I thought that too about myself years ago and I know how it can really seem like we caused our own illness. But the illness is real and it’s going to manifest itself (unfortunately) in your life somehow no matter what you think; you can’t undo it by just simply thinking.
I read about symptoms before I was diagnosed. Does that mean I faked it too? You at least read them when you were diagnosed, I read them before.
Can someone please answer?
you can’t fake this.
I don’t believe you can create schizophrenia by reading about it. I had the same fear 3 years ago when I was sure I had cancer and read a lot about it. You can’t create it. it is too serious
Sometimes I worry that I faked it all for attention. But I was there, and I know it happened. I’m not a liar
Symptoms can be learnt, by reading, and even better by observing. Most symptoms that I’ve come across are linked to humans ‘primitive’ defences. Since all humans have these defences, any human can potentially learn how to develop a symptom.
However, a symptom is just a symptom, not a diagnosis. Most diagnosed conditions are linked to some traumatic history. Therefore you can’t get SZ from reading a book.
There is a condition known as Medical Student Syndrome and it can apply to psychology students. I doubt this is what you are experiencing but it is a thing…
Humans are impressionnable. I believe thinking something can make you believe it and start acting on it. But, faking something requires the person planning to fake it or i guess feeling like you have to fake it for reasons or safety. Maybe its real sometimes, we bring it on ourselves sometimes, etc. Sometimes its somebody else calling you crazy when you feel ok.
The same goes for you. You have strong, elaborate delusions that control you, you don’t control the delusions.
It’s been my experience on this forum that the more severe a persons psychosis is the more likely they are to think they have faked it. The less insight they have into their own condition the more likely they are to think they faked it. That has been my experience with people who think they may have faked it. I could name names but that would be inappropriate.
Neither you nor @flowers20 are faking your condition.
I never hear a “recovered” sz’s/sza’s who is stable with no hallucinations/delusions claim that they “faked it” during their episodes.
But I remember reading and researching symptoms and also what college administrators think of people with mental illness in an attempt to get their attention. I just feel like this was all attention-seeking on my part. And I did get attention from college people. I ended up in the hospital because of it. But I still remember wanting to be in the mental hospital. It’s all so confusing. I do have Capgras syndrome which hints at schizophrenia, but who knows what is really going on with me?