Confused with what is going on

I’m confused whether I’m sza or not. In my younger years I feel like I did things for attention even though I was mildly paranoid about things I think majority of people would not be.

Now I’m stuck wondering whether my sister died and someone took her body out of the house and replaced her with her clone. It just seems to me to be something a sz or other person would think. So I try to tell myself that and that is why a part of me thinks I’m delusional. But because of how weird my boyfriend is I start to think it is real. My boyfriend wants me to get a capacity evaluation to prove I’m fine. And if I test fine then does that mean all the things I’m scared of will come true? Because I felt I would be captured before and the danger I felt felt so real. But this seems to be a common sz or related fear.

I just really don’t know. Especially because I feel like I was attention seeking before

The test has no bearing on whether or not you’re delusional. It might show that you are or aren’t, but having the test won’t change anything, except maybe better treatment

How would it give better treatment if it says I’m fine?

Oh, I see what you’re worried about. I doubt it’ll say you’re completely ok

But if I don’t talk about my so-called delusions I think it will say I’m fine.

Then talk about your delusions

I don’t want to.

You need to do you can get help

If you have to hide them to seem non psychotic doesn’t that tell you that they are delusions?

Flowers20151515

Just tell them your thoughts, and then no one will think you have the capacity to run a whole country. It’s not fair, but it’s how people think

I don’t think I can do that.

Then you’re choosing not not have help

sounds like the beginning of a delusion of mental illness. If you do go to a doctor for it they will probably end up putting you on phych meds which run the possible that it will make it worse. Those meds are nasty. I think since you are aware that your thoughts are delusions that good, cause your not so far gone where you cant see clearly. You should work on seeing clearly past the delusions, you have to be strong minded and dont let the delusions take over and think rational when a delusion happens. Dont believe them…

I’m on already on meds and this has been going on for almost 2 years.

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