Confused feelings

I have not seen a psychiatrist in over a year since I left early intervention. If I get referred by my GP (general physician) I end up seeing a mental health nurse or a student pdoc who feeds information to the psychiatrist who I have never met. How are they supposed to judge my health by never even meeting me?

I am fine at the moment but I have periods where I do not feel like myself at all. Not psychotic. Just not myself. Periods where I’d spend loads of money and feel it’s because I’m ill because I’d feel out of control with the spending.

But then there are times when I’d spend loads of money and feel its me being perfectly normal. It’s very confusing. I get confused about my feelings a lot.

Can’t make up my mind about things either.

I don’t know if this relates, but for me I think it depends on How or why I buy.

I have been in a panic buying spree. LIfe was changing fast in my opinion and if I didn’t buy… NOW!. Life would all go wrong. The situation would get bad and it would be all my fault because I didn’t buy this extra stuff that I was sure I needed. I didn’t feel in control and I spent a lot of money on stuff that we in no way needed. My sis took it all back and got a lot of our money back. Those spending sprees are a big whirl of panic and I’m not really all there when it’s happening. I feel very out of my body when I’m handing over my money.

But there are times I splash out a bit and that feels more justified. I’ve been putting the money I don’t spend on cigarettes in a jar and have been using the jar money to up grade my surf gear. That is a huge spend too, but it’s not motivated by panic. I’m calmer and I research what I want. I don’t feel out of control when I buy it because I had planed, and researched and made and stuck to a decision.

I’m just waking up to my emotions too and I’m still confused by some of my head circus. I hope this makes sense.

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Its like a compess that hits mico waves and the do north. We have no sit patterens young but old we have to manny.

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oh i have to watch my spending too i find something on ebay i have to have and i can shop hunt online for hours they did studies on shopping addicts and gasmblers and they get the same brain responces its like a rush for some people. its an impulse control issue. my worst in that regard was drinking and i got over it by really wanting one but sitting with the feeling and not taking action. whatever diagnosis or issues you have you can talk to them about when you see them hope it goes wellx

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