So logistically I grew up an only child, single mother, grandparents, aunt and uncle. Just me. Sole heir.
My dad wasn’t in my life, but for a few early years my half sister was. I don’t remember a whole lot, but I do have memories.
I always kind of wanted to reach out too her, same story of a single mother with a only child, maybe a pipe dream.
Her full toxicology came in last night, she had a whole cornucopia of drugs in her system. Overdosed at her moms house.
It’s a path I walked for a decade too.
I just don’t really know how to feel, I lost the imaginations I had, I lost the one contact from my dads side I ever even pondered, I lost something I never even had.
I watched an old friend of mine flatline with paramedics from a drug od, it’s not easy to go through, I don’t have siblings but I can’t imagine losing one that way. Sorry for your loss.
Loss is loss, and it’s okay to grieve even if it wasn’t someone you were close to.
I’d imagine, as you mentioned, that part of that grief comes from losing your only connection to your father and his side of the family. And it’s understandable.
Take some time to do some self-care.
Distractions are good, but don’t feel like you need to suppress the emotions, or they may come back with a vengeance.
I had a friend who at some point was a love interest. We started talking less and less. One day, he died. I tried to stay strong and act fine, because some people pointed out I barely knew him anymore, so I didn’t feel like I was allowed to be sad.
It got so bad I started hearing his voice telling me to join him in the afterlife, and I’d randomly start crying if I saw someone who resembled him.
After I started allowing myself to have those emotions and talked to someone I trusted about them, it got a lot easier to deal with.
