Any advice from personal experience here?
I’m coming down from a “grandiose delusion” where everything I did was either for the best interest of humanity/the universe or to the detriment of it. (You can probably see how easily one could feel defeated and suicidal here.)
But, it feels like my world is sort of…colorless.
The things I do don’t actually matter. I feel directionless and like an infinitesimally small speck of nothing important in an overwhelming, uncaring, and brutal universe.
Anyone else ever feel this way? My Haldol has been increased enough for me to see from this new vantage point and I don’t love it. I wasn’t walking around telling people I was important before, I just made subtle changes I hoped when ripple into large and important ones. (The downside and impetus for going higher on the Haldol was my increasingly frequent suicidal behavior from feeling like I’m single-handedly failing humanity.)