Colorado is gorgeous

I did when I first moved. Had my own mountain view apartment, and was working from home with the same job I had in Houston. Had it made. Then my mental health started declining rapidly. I couldn’t focus on anything, so I quit my job, started hanging out with bad people, got an addiction to meth as psychosis started slowly creeping in. About a month or two after I started hearing voices I woke up one day and decided I was done with meth, and the people I was using with, and moved in with my aunt. I’ve been clean ever since, and doing a lot better, considering. I’m still out of work, but I don’t think that will last much longer, I want to start making money again, and saving to invest in real estate.


ah living with your aunt =)
that going well?
i can’t live by myself, i live with my parents.

can you get on disability if you can’t work?

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good thing that you got off the meth … good job on that!

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I don’t want to. Once I see a psychiatrist I know that’s game over. I’ll be placed in a psych ward, diagnosed, medicated, and will no longer be able to work. I’m managing my positive symptoms well as I am, and I’m feeling more confident in my ability to work, I just have to find a job where I can work with my hands to accommodate the illness. I used to work at a computer all day doing data analysis, but I can’t do that anymore. It’s too unfulfilling. I’d like to find a farm to work on, but I haven’t even started looking yet. My family has a lot of connections here tho, so I’ll probably find something.

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ah yea sounds like you know very well what you want… that’s good.

I hope you do find a job where you can work with your hands… and hopefully the illness doesn’t get worse.

A farm sounds really nice. I’d love to work on a farm if i could.

When i got sick and i was acting weird i didn’t want to see a pdoc too… but after a while things got so bad that my gp doc had me send to a psych ward…

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I was convinced for ten months people were listening to my thoughts, and invaded my mind. I thought they were in my eye. My ear. Chips in my head. I was being followed, and watched every second. I’m not sure what woke me up to this being all hallucinations, and delusions, but something clicked. This was only a couple of weeks ago, so I don’t know what all may change a couple more weeks from now. It could get worse, but I’m feeling more of myself since it started, so I’m hopeful. I’ve always been resilient. I won’t go to a Dr until I feel like I’ve done all I can do on my own. Right now, no one knows, and I can disguise it. Until I can’t, I don’t think I’ll seek a Dr.

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yea if you wanna stay out of the psych ward better not tell a doc… but i had doc keeping an eye on me cause she known me from when i was a kid… and my parents told them i had been acting weird for a long time… my employer also had contacted my mom that i was acting different for a while already and so i got send to the psych ward.

as long as you are able to live a life i don’t see anything wrong with staying away from a doc… but if you can’t anymore then it’s time to see somebody though… i wouldn’t let it go out of control.

But i think it’s brave of you to try to do it by yourself.

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I’m thankful I’ve felt in control the entire time. When it first started, I think my boundaries were tested for sure, but I quickly learned the voices were full of sht, and I couldn’t trust or follow them. The way I saw it was, they were in my mind, so they would be more tortured than I was lol. I make fun of them all the time for this poor decision.

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That is precisely how I feel about Kansas…

Or did. Back from my trip now and I’m just glad to know my way around and sort of have more control of things.

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