Clinical depression sucks me back in

I was doing so much better for a while. Getting out, doing more. Enjoying life more. Then for the past two weeks bam! its back. I’m not crying everyday, which is the upside. Only fleeting thoughts of hurting myself every few days. I can’t help but wonder about the timing. I just got notified last week or so from SSA that I am officially disabled, the government says I have SZA. It must really be true now, not some mistake. My brother is also getting married this weekend so there is that added stress. I wasn’t invited to the shower or bachelorette party, so its clear that I’m there as a guest only. I’ll probably be shunted to some far off table by myself. I keep telling myself its ok, we’re not close I hardly know him, which makes me sad because he lives right down the road. I tried to make friends with his fiance but she never seemed interested and never wanted to hang out. I haven’t talked to my one friend in months, she’s always too busy to talk when I call her, she never calls me anymore. I guess I’m lonely.

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hi skims i know how you feel it can be a big shock cant it, like BANG heres a ■■■■ load of pain to deal with. i went to my sisters wedding the fact that your going will be the main thing that you did the right thing and you can feel proud of that i went to my sisters wedding but am an alcoholic so i didnt go to the after party alcoholics dont party they drink a hell of a lot of tea by the bucket tho LOL. just know it WILL go away again eve if it doesnt feel like it tcxxxxx

Hi Skims~
Hope you`re just having a bad day and it will pass quickly.
Peace to you…

I feel like I’m sort of coming out of a very hard month. Not nearly as bad as it’s been in the past, but not easy.

I was getting depressed at being depressed. I’ve been taking my meds, I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve been doing the work, I’ve been avoiding stress, and yet still… bang.

So having this hit me when I was sure I was doing everything right really upset me, and made me more symptomatic… which upset me more… and made me worse… and upset me more…

There was some family stress but something that has also helped me… I went to my doc ready for a tune up. So my meds got tuned up again.

The Seroquel cut back again, the latuda increased and the Xanax switched to Valium. I’m feeling like I’m sort of pulling back out of it.

It’s not your fault,it’s the illness?i think your brother didn’t invite you because you might not even enjoy the party which you mentioned(I guessed),but try to think it’s not a big deal you might feel better this way

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oh hunni…so sorry ur feeling down. hopefully this feeling is only temporary and ull soon pick up. xxx

but it really sucks not to be invited,and furthermore he is your own brother

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Thanks everyone for the comments. The wedding was fun, not to stressful for me.

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I am glad that you had a good time at the wedding @Skims - I know what you are going through with the depression - it really makes you feel isolated. Please dont hesitate to reach out to your doctor if things get real bad, and hang in there, this shall pass Im sure